Lessons in Gratitude

Someone recently asked me for help in coming up with a prayer to say at the family Thanksgiving meal. Her slight dilemma was that the family is quite traditional and she is quite new age. In other words she "gets it" when it comes to the power of the mind and how we co-create with God. She is afraid her guests might think of this as blasphemous. Her hope is that this could be a teaching opportunity. Or she might get nailed to the proverbial cross. Hmmm

As I thought about it and sent up a prayer to ask for help what came to me is "gratitude". Everyone knows that "thanks giving" is about gratitude. Our minds are in a place of thinking about the blessings that we have received. And what we focus on grows.
That is the connecting point of prayer, thought, those who are more traditional as well as those who have explored beyond those boundaries. By the way I hesitate to use the term "new age." Although at its root the meaning is pure and simple - new age- a powerful time of understanding and using our God given abilities - it has an unfortunate reputation of false gurus, snake oil and weirdos. How unfortunate.
So where was I? Oh yes the connection, the oneness and coming together within gratitude. Because the Universe is all about vibration and energy, our thoughts create. This is the central message of Jesus and many prophets and mystics. So when we put our minds in the state of gratitude, concentrating on how we are blessed and what we are thankful for, we send out a vibration of positive energy. And what we send out returns to us, sooner or later.

A little tip here. We need to be careful and not negate that positive energy. One example is jealousy...if we hear of another person's blessings, while we might be sitting on what feels like a pile of dung with not much to be thankful for, we could end up creating a bigger pile. The Universe listens to our thoughts and feelings. And it responds to them. It does not judge our thoughts and feelings but does respond to them. It does not show favoritism. One person is not more richly blessed by some unknown source while you sit on that pile of crap.

The power and connection is in our subconscious mind. And the good news is that our subconscious mind's tendency is toward a good life and many blessings. But we can muck it up with negative thinking. The subconscious is incredibly powerful - but it can't "think". It obeys our conscious mind/ thinking and is supercharged when strong feelings are added. I have seen this operate in my life on both sides of the coin. Before I knew how this all works I created some pretty unattractive results - especially in relationships. And I created simply awesome results too.

When I was part of a large psych clinic one of the psychologists asked me if I was ever worried about having enough clients. His question gave me pause. That doubt had never entered my mind and results showed up in my over flowing practice. You see, I always "knew" I was meant to do this work. Now I understand that although it is complicated in some ways, it simply boils down to this: my faith and belief in that "knowing" then resonated with Universal Energy, Divine Matrix, God and thus the people who were meant to come to me for healing simply arrived. And I was wise enough to understand that I wasn't wise enough to do the work, so I always asked for help.
We all are guided, protected and loved. The Universe leans toward abundance in all areas. When we clear our minds of doubt, jealousy. anger and fear what is left is an opening to receiving that positive flow. And one of the ways we do that is when we pause and think of that which we are thankful for...breathing it in, calming our mind and thus inviting the Universe to resonate with that energy and bring us more good stuff.
In answer to a recent comment (seeing the negative traits in another and how they bug us yet serve as a teaching moment- brilliant comment by the way ) I would say this. Indeed there will be those situations and people who grate on us and spin negativity in our minds. When that happens to me and the person in my estimation is over the top I think (I'm no saint :) - well they have to live in that **** and I back away. Some times that is all we can do -besides send up a prayer for their healing. But like the woman said in her comment which again I see as coming from a very wise person, the Universe is giving us a "teaching moment". What is there about this person or situation that is getting to me? Why is it striking a nerve? The answer is not because they are such a @#$%%!!**! It is because it resonates with something within me; otherwise it would not strike such a nerve. Some times this is hard to swallow.
For example in that same large psych practice I was in, there was a woman who irritated the heck out of me. She was a wildly flirtatious social butterfly. (That was what I thought on a good day LOL) What on earth would that have to do with striking a nerve with me?
I came to understand that the pearl of wisdom was obviously not in her brushing up to every male that crossed her path. Rather is was in her happy, social way of being. I saw that I had become much too serious. OK then! I" got it" and in my mind I thanked her for the lesson. And she no longer irritated me. That is how the Universe works.What we focus on grows and when I focused on her social aspects, they came out in me. It works that way for all of us. When we understand and reap the rewards of the lesson, the situations tend to dissolve. But until we get it the tendency is for it to grow. Feelings are a powerhouse that fire up the subconscious mind. Studying our feelings can be an inroad to wisdom and a better life.

In gratitude to those who touch my life~
Until next time, blessings and love,
Dr. DyAnn

Connect the Dots

Garage sale stickers ~ you know, those little colored circles you can buy in the paper/office section of any store? Did you realize they can be used to boost your energy as well as your sense of happiness?

As you walk around your house, yard, and work place, strategically place a dozen of them on that which you are thankful for. It's not necessarily about the "things" you put them on but what they represent. For example you might place one on your refrigerator, representing gratitude for having enough food to eat. I have one on my appointment book because I am thankful for the relationships I have with my clients, another on a patio chair (for the beauty of Nature) and one on the bedroom dresser so that when I wake up each morning I am thankful for the day. You get the idea.

At a deeper level what the dots do is to empower us. Remember the principle of cause and effect. It is always in operation. Our thinking (conscious mind) leads to our beliefs. Our beliefs lead to our actions. Our actions impact our thoughts - round and round in a cycle that creates what happens in our life moment by moment.
If I think it will be an awful day because I overslept it WILL be an awful day. What will make it awful will not be the oversleeping but my thoughts/attitude about it. Here I am at a decision point. The awfulness could end right there with the oversleeping if instead I say, "Okay I overslept, but my mind can think of ways to deal with it. " I would then be more calm and relaxed. Being calm and relaxed frees up my creative subconscious mind which is virtually limitless in ideas it presents to me. And that includes problem solving the over-sleeping.

Our subconscious mind (the real powerhouse and seat of creation) can not think. It "obeys" the conscious thinking mind. So, if I oversleep and sarcastically think "Oh crap! Great start on the day. I'll never catch up" the subconscious mind is geared to follow up on that line of thinking. And thus it is the thought process that makes that day not such a good one - or finds the way to overcome the time issue and create a good day.

Cause and effect of thoughts can be subtle and hard to catch but it is very powerful. Our thinking/conscious mind is always on and always chattering. It isn't that the thinking mind is bad or wrong, but it can be like a crazy monkey in a gift shop - wreaking havoc to say the least. If we don't train our mind, the gift shop (our life) can become an utter mess. And we would assume we had nothing to do with it ~ but we are NOT powerless!

One of the ways to empowerment is keeping our thinking mind at peace. This is the road to what seems like miracles happening in our life. It isn't that some people are born "lucky." We create our luck. But we can't do it with negative thinking. Thoughts create. Add feelings and you have the key to major power.

That is why I invite you to utilize the idea of the garage sale stickers. When we try to make our conscious mind do a certain thing, such as "think peaceful thoughts" it can be as though someone turned on the wrong switch and all the worries and stresses rush into our mind. Yikes! Where did that come from? Or we attempt to meditate and our to do list demands attention, ceaselessly nagging at us. Don't worry if you think you can't meditate/relax. There are easier ways, I believe, than training with a guru or reading all the self-help books available. If those work for you that is great; but if they do not help that is perfectly fine.

Each of us is a unique individual. Not only do you have your own unique purpose in life that no one but YOU can fulfill but it makes sense that there is a unique way in which your mind works. At the same time there are some basics about the mind and how we are created that are universal. What the garage sale stickers do is to bring forth gratitude. You might be rushing around trying to get something done, stress begins to rise, negative thinking is inviting itself in, when your eyes scan one of the garage sale stickers. Your more powerful subconscious is automatically reminded about something pleasant that you are thankful for. This interupts the circuit of the less than positive thought > feeling > belief > action. In its place is a pleasant feeling. The brain baths you in positive chemicals. This now begins its own cycle which literally follows a different circuitry in the brain. In reality, you have the ability to train your brain and master Energy. This is one of the easiest ways to do it.

Until next time~
Blessings and love to you and those you love,
Dr. DyAnn

Giving Thanks

There are many things to enjoy about Thanksgiving... gathering of family, friends and neighbors, all the delicious food, and the kick off for the holiday season. Perhaps your family has favorite traditions such as the Macy's parade, watching your favorite football team, or volunteering to feed the hungry or those who might otherwise be alone.

One of the things I absolutely love about Thanksgiving is the very fact that for this one holiday we are reminded to pause and think about what we are grateful for. Too often in our busy life we just don't take the time to do this ~ or we may have something that draws our mind toward situations or events in life that we are anything but grateful for.

When you think about it, for the most part it is often the people in our life that we are thankful for... people, not things, make all the difference. As you count your blessing there are always those special people that make your life sweeter. But have you ever thought about the difference YOU make in the lives of other people? Sometimes we forget that who we are and what we do DOES make a difference for other people. I think it would be so neat if there could be a way that you could see that... if at the end of each and every day YOU could see where you made a difference just by being YOU.
We hear of people who do extraordinary things to help others. And of course their story is amazing and should be applauded. But it is the little guy - people just like you, who quietly do their share on a regular basis without applause; likely even without the realization that you have made the difference to someone.
Maybe you have a boss who doesn't express thanks (or worse yet does nothing but complain or even has you feeling like a number). But each day you go to work, do your job and help your company or organization stay afloat. Don't let the bad supervisor cheat you out of your realization that you are of value. What you do counts. Or maybe you pulled an extra share of duty while someone was out sick, or welcomed the new person, or just greet your fellow workers with a smile. You DO make a difference, even if they forget to tell you!
Family --- oh yes, my sessions and e-mails are so very often about family. I learned a long time ago not to say "I've heard everything!" Because about the time I think that, someone offers up a new and kind of pathetic example of how those with whom we would hope to feel the closest feel instead anything but. Kind of leaves people thinking what on earth a particular situation, remark, or general relationship is all about! "What am I missing?!"
For you, remember that some people are just not as enlightened or aware of their impact on their fellow souls. Makes me kind of wish that just for a day those caustic family members could see the real pain that they inflict. Sometimes I think that maybe the reason for their lack of any consideration and just plain meanness is that they really just DON'T GET IT!

They just don't realize that not only do you have feelings.. but that they are important. If people realized that they are important (and influential) I think they might be better family members. I offer that insight to you in the hope that it will take away some of the hurt and pain. It won't change the family member, but perhaps it can soften the blow especially since many of you will be spending time with family members during the next month or so. (I have seen some pretty miraculous things happen as people finally did realize that they are of value.)
Remember that how people treat you says a whole lot more about them than it does about you. So, just work on forgiving them.
As a counselor I have had the advantage of advanced training and practice in what is called Systems Theory. One of the fundamentals of this work is the realization that if one can change part of the system, then the system itself is changed. I use the example of a hanging mobile. If you lightly touch just one part of it, the whole mobile (system) is moved. The same is true in any system including our family.
I invite you to be that change. Certainly we are powerless to change anyone else, let alone an entire family. But if you change something about you, the system will change even if ever so slightly. Susie, who I talked to recently, has been working on being less judgmental of her family. Yes some of their faults are pretty obvious. But Sue realized she had fallen into playing the role of the judge, who could point those faults out much too often. All it got her was more frustration and even her turn at being the one who was "wrong". :)
When she determined to change the system by changing herself, she got results. She can now see when she is being baited or "invited" to react in her same old way. Remember her reactivity had only served to strengthen the dysfunctional system and increase her unhappiness when she tried to help by pointing things out. No, her family has not changed and perhaps never will. She just wanted to get along better and have a "happier" family. Well, she laughed, when you can't be so easily provoked you just plain feel happier. You really do!

Someone once said that happiness is an inside job... and Susie is definitely happier. She is even beginning to see some of the positive characteristics of her family members....remember ~ what we focus on grows.

As you celebrate Thanksgiving, please know that I am thankful that you have found my blog. I count you, my readers, among my blessings.

Remember, that you DO make a difference in life ~ even if no one remembers to tell you this.

Each night lull yourself to sleep counting your blessings. Not only is it a wonderful spiritual practice, but science now has shown how it helps our physical health as well. It all works together.

Until next time
Blessings and love to you and those you love,
Dr. DyAnn

Practicing Gratitude

At some point in my life I stumbled into the practice of counting my blessings before tucking myself into bed at night. I don't remember if my first experience doing this came at the end of a day that had been particularly pleasurable and so I wanted to recount the events, or if it was one of those deplorable, awful days when you just want to pull the covers over your head and make it all go away. Either way, I recall casually going over the day's events, looking for life's little pleasures. Without expectation, what ensued was a feeling which is normally experienced during precious rare times in life: the welcoming of a new soul at birth, hearing "he's going to make it", being granted unconditional forgiveness from someone you dearly love but have sorrowfully wounded. The emotion was so intense it was physical and spiritual. I knew I needed to make this experience a night time ritual.

Finding that which we can be thankful for comes easier with daily practice. Granted, there will be those days when there are more obvious treasures, but like playing Scrabble or doing crosswords, we get better with practice. We find that which we may have missed or overlooked with simple, casual or careless observation.

Practicing gratitude will ease us nicely into sleep and I believe it will bring about truly spiritual blessings. Research shows it to lower blood pressure, reduce stress, lower the risk of depression and other mood disorders, bulimia and alcoholism.

In this evenings gratitude ritual I know I shall include thankfulness and rich appreciation for the thoughtful feedback I have received for the writings on this blog and my website. You inspire me!
Until next time,
Dr. DyAnn