Boomerangs

Gayle is a lovely, engaging woman with a smile that lights up the room as well as a past that is peppered with ugly memories, pain and despair.That is what first brought her into the counseling process. Already having had two failed marriages she worked on the patterns and false beliefs she picked up from her abusive family of origin. Her mother had blamed her for everything that she could possibly conceive of and her father, rather than protecting her, taught her to do "whatever it takes" so that mom would not be upset - quite the impossible task! What an ugly combination and often a set up for failed relationships and some hard lessons when a girl grows up this way.

Gayle thought she had found the love of her life when she met Carl. When she first laid eyes on him she knew" he was the one" and I as well am a big believer in intuition. As their relationship progressed I commented that I thought she was even meant to be his teacher in this lifetime. But what a challenge he ended up being! Not easily daunted, she kept working on herself and the relationship - and I continued to believe it would turn out well. As the economy turned for the worse he became increasingly aloof, verbally abusive and difficult to get along with. Because she and I continued to work together she was able to buffer his actions and not get triggered so much by old patterns of self blame and perfectionism learned in childhood. "Carl is not your mother. You are a competent adult" I would remind her. (That was HER lesson.)

She was able to continue to reach out to him tho her esteem suffered. She dug into her savings to help with his struggling business and took on more work to help with the bills. Long before, she had told him that she "believed in his dreams and wanted to help make them come true." What love!
However, as he became more withdrawn and belligerent she finally had to face the facts. We drew up a game plan and timeline for her moving out if things did not improve, for now he was even jealous of her successes. I hoped that it might shock him into some kind of awareness as to how much he was hurting this amazing woman that he was VERY lucky to have in his life. She thought he was stubborn enough that he would never flinch. "I just can't deal with his negativity any more. He is pulling me down and I am afraid I won't be able to survive this." At the last attempt to communicate at least thru e mail he told her not to send anymore stupid #$%^&!! emails because he wasn't going to read them.
OK then!
The way the Universe operates is similar to a boomerang; in other words what you put out there comes back eventually - boomerang for boomerang. It isn't going to send back a refrigerator! So it can be a little tricky to keep positive when, as in Gayle's example, this kind of stuff is happening in your life. But it is necessary!
We live in a world of vibration. Everything has a vibration. We live in a world that is magnetic - like attracts like. That was a mainstay of the message of Jesus. And we can think only one thought at a time. When we put all of these truths together we have the formula for success in life. We have true empowerment.
For example, if we say we are going to try something but think or say it probably isn't going to work anyway - we send out the boomerang and expect the refrigerator to come to us on the return route. Remember only one thought can be sent out at a time and the negative one will cancel out the positive one. We cannot lie to God and we cannot lie to our subconscious mind, which is our great powerhouse. We can however work on our ability to believe in our power when coupled with God/Universe/Spirit/Creative Energy. And we can own our feelings. But one of the most powerful, and easiest things we can do is also free!! We can use our imagination.
That being said, as Gayle had done countless times, imagine yourself and how you will feel in the future with your goal being successfully met. Relish it in great detail using all your senses until you truly do feel it. This is especially powerful when it is done just before falling asleep at night and upon awakening, as well when you pray and or meditate. When you are doing a mundane task like dishes, or riding an exercise bike is an opportune time also.

Now for an update about Gayle. I think one of the things that may have had her stuck by the way was her being a little too willing to allow her own self-esteem to take such a hit so that she put up with too much for too long with Carl. God never wants us to dishonor our own being. Respecting herself (in thought/feeling and actions - aka vibration) first and foremost may have been her missing piece in the formula.
In a recent e mail she shared with me that indeed a miracle appears to be taking place. Carl has told her how much he values her and how lucky he is to have her! Romance is once again blooming for them. She is understandably cautious but feels much more positive about their future. She will fill me in on the rest of the details when we meet. I can hardly wait.
In the meantime I replied in my e mail : EXPECT A MIRACLE!

Until next time, envision your success and use that untapped power of your imagination to make your dreams come true.
Blessings and love to you and those you love~
Dr. DyAnn