My blog is something that you can look forward to as it feeds your soul on a good day and that you can count on to be there for you in case you have a bad day. Who and what feeds our souls? What might we cling to in a world that at times can bring so many challenges and negativity?
Today I want to share something with you that touched my heart. It instantly became one of my favorites as it serves as a reminder of an amazing source of unconditional love: the gift of that deep, soulful connection we have with animals. If you are lucky enough to have animal companions in your life, you are indeed fortunate. If you have an appreciation of the gifts all animals freely share with us, you are indeed wise.
Go to You tube and type in Christian the Lion. The first hit that comes up is from tadmanly and it is 2:28 in length. I want you to get this specific one. The background music is Whitney Houston. Prepare to be deeply touched.
This blog posting is lovingly dedicated to Joshua and Reuben.
Friday, November 28, 2008
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Practicing Gratitude
At some point in my life I stumbled into the practice of counting my blessings before tucking myself into bed at night. I don't remember if my first experience doing this came at the end of a day that had been particularly pleasurable and so I wanted to recount the events, or if it was one of those deplorable, awful days when you just want to pull the covers over your head and make it all go away. Either way, I recall casually going over the day's events, looking for life's little pleasures. Without expectation, what ensued was a feeling which is normally experienced during precious rare times in life: the welcoming of a new soul at birth, hearing "he's going to make it", being granted unconditional forgiveness from someone you dearly love but have sorrowfully wounded. The emotion was so intense it was physical and spiritual. I knew I needed to make this experience a night time ritual.
Finding that which we can be thankful for comes easier with daily practice. Granted, there will be those days when there are more obvious treasures, but like playing Scrabble or doing crosswords, we get better with practice. We find that which we may have missed or overlooked with simple, casual or careless observation.
Practicing gratitude will ease us nicely into sleep and I believe it will bring about truly spiritual blessings. Research shows it to lower blood pressure, reduce stress, lower the risk of depression and other mood disorders, bulimia and alcoholism.
In this evenings gratitude ritual I know I shall include thankfulness and rich appreciation for the thoughtful feedback I have received for the writings on this blog and my website. You inspire me!
Until next time,
Dr. DyAnn
Finding that which we can be thankful for comes easier with daily practice. Granted, there will be those days when there are more obvious treasures, but like playing Scrabble or doing crosswords, we get better with practice. We find that which we may have missed or overlooked with simple, casual or careless observation.
Practicing gratitude will ease us nicely into sleep and I believe it will bring about truly spiritual blessings. Research shows it to lower blood pressure, reduce stress, lower the risk of depression and other mood disorders, bulimia and alcoholism.
In this evenings gratitude ritual I know I shall include thankfulness and rich appreciation for the thoughtful feedback I have received for the writings on this blog and my website. You inspire me!
Until next time,
Dr. DyAnn
Monday, November 24, 2008
The Shadow of Loss
During the holiday season, when it seems most everyone is counting their blessings and making preparations for time with family, there are those who are feeling the pain and sadness of a loss. It may be something recent like the issue in the letter (in my advice column) on my web site: buechlertherapy.com ). Perhaps you are missing a parent that has passed on or is no longer who he or she used to be, making the physical family circle a little bit smaller. Or maybe this year the travel plans didn't work out, a precious friend moved away, or there was a job loss. Any of these scenarios can touch our hearts with the throbbing ache of loss that casts its shadow on our life.
From recent personal experience I can testify to the strength of this shadow! My work is as a therapist - thus I have the privilege of entering the soulful world of other human beings. I will share with you that those from whom I have heard the desperate whispers of angst due to loss include a panoramic list: corporate heads who wield power which controls the lives of hundreds of people, all manner of counselors and healers including men of the cloth, attorneys, educators, and rescue workers including police and fire fighters. In other words, those people that we look upon as having strength, position and power. No matter our position and power, we cannot escape that eerie shadow of loss - but how we respond to it is vital. I've witnessed powerful men crumble and the meekest of individuals triumph.
One of my most memorable (and meekest) clients was Leslie. Working as cafeteria staff at a convent, Leslie was quiet and downtrodden. She was referred to me by the county after a suicide attempt when her boyfriend left her (Yes, another woman). She saw herself as worthless and indeed had been treated as such by her family of origin and horribly abusive ex- husband. When they had divorced Leslie raised their six children on her own and with very meager means. Although she was very unsure of herself as a parent and constantly worried about whether she had "damaged" her children, the unconditional love she felt toward them something could literally be felt in the energy in my office.
The shadow of loss of her boyfriend put Leslie into therapy; from there she learned of her true inner self, connection with God in a way she had never realized, and above all the magic of inner worth, regardless of what happened to her on the outside. Her connection to and love for her children was part of the key of her understanding her worth. And it was not connected to what they did or did not do. She left counseling not so much a "changed" woman, but simply one who discovered who she truly is and the insurmountable worth that lies therein. That is how we triumph over the shadow of loss and grief.
Namaste,
Dr DyAnn
From recent personal experience I can testify to the strength of this shadow! My work is as a therapist - thus I have the privilege of entering the soulful world of other human beings. I will share with you that those from whom I have heard the desperate whispers of angst due to loss include a panoramic list: corporate heads who wield power which controls the lives of hundreds of people, all manner of counselors and healers including men of the cloth, attorneys, educators, and rescue workers including police and fire fighters. In other words, those people that we look upon as having strength, position and power. No matter our position and power, we cannot escape that eerie shadow of loss - but how we respond to it is vital. I've witnessed powerful men crumble and the meekest of individuals triumph.
One of my most memorable (and meekest) clients was Leslie. Working as cafeteria staff at a convent, Leslie was quiet and downtrodden. She was referred to me by the county after a suicide attempt when her boyfriend left her (Yes, another woman). She saw herself as worthless and indeed had been treated as such by her family of origin and horribly abusive ex- husband. When they had divorced Leslie raised their six children on her own and with very meager means. Although she was very unsure of herself as a parent and constantly worried about whether she had "damaged" her children, the unconditional love she felt toward them something could literally be felt in the energy in my office.
The shadow of loss of her boyfriend put Leslie into therapy; from there she learned of her true inner self, connection with God in a way she had never realized, and above all the magic of inner worth, regardless of what happened to her on the outside. Her connection to and love for her children was part of the key of her understanding her worth. And it was not connected to what they did or did not do. She left counseling not so much a "changed" woman, but simply one who discovered who she truly is and the insurmountable worth that lies therein. That is how we triumph over the shadow of loss and grief.
Namaste,
Dr DyAnn
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Multiple Choice
Have you ever felt like you have a "multiple personality"? You know, one part calm, reserved and understanding, while another side of you wants just a little bit of revenge? Or maybe there are times when your logical self pulls you in one clear cut direction (stay with the job you have) but your heart cries out for something entirely different (I want to work in the arts). It seems like some scenarios lead to feeling like we just crashed into the "I can't win" wall! Which ever route we may choose, part of us feels like we did not get our needs met.
But there is a way out and the secret is to find the way to honor our multiplicity.
I think we are all rather "multiple", but not in the sense of the psychiatric disorder. Our lives, our minds and our needs are multi-faceted. "Sarah", one of my clients, is a classic example of the complicated nature of our inner/multiple selves. Poised and beautiful, Sarah is a highly intelligent, deeply spiritual person whose mantra and guiding force is to live a virtuous life. She and her doting husband give money to charity and she does volunteer work. She creates beautiful pottery, aces her difficult college courses, and carries on an affair with a married man! She just could not seem to break away from this dangerous, unrewarding liaison.
"Pete" is a successful business man with a penchant for family life. His childhood memories are painted in sadness due to the untimely death of his father. He indeed would qualify as being the "lost child". He is a wonderful father, loves to play chess, and attends church regularly. He has been told by his doctor to get his eating habits under control as he is borderline diabetic. Pete just can't resist good bakery. He wants to be around for his kids but his increasingly severe weight problem threatens his health and longevity.
Both people are examples of the rich tapestry of characteristics which compose our individual uniqueness. Pete and Sarah's lives and choices (as well as your own) tend to be more understandable when viewed from the perspective of our multiple needs as human beings. Pete, for example, learned in his therapy that deep in his subconscious he had a treasured memory. When he was just a toddler he and his dad would sit in "daddy's chair" and enjoy dessert together. None of his older siblings got to do this; it was Pete's special time with his father. His insatiable appetite for dessert was a reflection of this subconscious longing to connect with his dad. His need for (resolution about) belonging won out over balance in regard to physical needs.
Guess what was going on with Sarah? Her story is a very interesting one. Adopted as an infant she was doted on and intensely watched over by her anxious parents - the hovering type. She never had the opportunity to just "let loose" in a developmentally normal way. Unknowingly, she was making up for it now, but in a way that threatened not only her marriage but her very sense of self. Her need for adventure overshadowed all her other needs which were abundantly fulfilled.
While the aid of a good therapist can help people to discover why they do things that are counterproductive or even destructive, this blog is about living a better, happier life. It is for every day people like you. While the examples of Pete and Sarah may be considered dramatic, at the heart of the matter they speak of human needs. One of the ways that I see people falter is in failing to firstcontemplate what they need and how that need could be fulfilled in any number of ways. For example, Sarah needed adventure and the chance to do something dangerous. Pete needed the chance to connect more strongly with a father figure.
Someone may feel he needs more recognition and mistakenly narrow his thinking that the only answer is a new job. By realizing that the answer to his longing is not for a new job, but that his longing is for recognition he can save himself a lot of time and unhappiness. He might keep his job and gain recognition in other ways that are more in alignment with what he needs for his deeper sense of self. One of my clients found glorious satisfaction in the "recognition" of a den of cub scouts that he volunteered to help out. His sense of pride was clearly visible whenever he spoke of his work with the scouts.
In other words, if we first carefully examine what our need is, and then look at the multiple ways in which the need might be fulfilled, we give ourselves a multiple number of ways in which we might achieve greater happiness.
Until next time,
Dr. DyAnn
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Hidden Treasures
Isn't it wonderful to be uplifted by other people?
But, there are those days and sometimes even those long stretches of time that we can't count on that to occur. Though we greatly appreciate those who are loving and kind to us, we do not want to leave ourselves vulnerable to being needy. Therefore it is imperative to balance our lives so that we know how to uplift ourselves.
One of the most simple and yet profound ways that we can provide ourselves with feelings of self worth is by a technique called the "treasure box". You may have heard of it before or even have made one of your own. Start with a container as simple as a shoe box or as elaborate as what you might find in a gift store. In this box, store the memorabilia that touches your heart: that encouraging note from a friend, a Christmas card from someone who you lost touch with, an e mail forward with a verse that lifted your spirits, pictures which evoke memories of happy times recently and long ago. These are our dearest treasures. They put us back in touch with the knowing that we truly are loved and cared about. If you haven't already started a treasure box I encourage you to do it now.
There is another equally important item which the treasure box must contain. Lovingly place within its confines a special message written to you, from you. Write it as you might address a note to a special friend that you love very much, who perhaps may be hurting and feeling a bit lost and alone. This is a love letter to you. And for many of us, it may be long over due.
Whenever you need to, sift through the treasures that you gather. These contents are more valuable than silver and gold. The science behind their ability to lift your spirits is in that they evoke strong memories and feelings. The subconscious mind does not keep time. It does not know the difference between something that is occurring in the here and now versus something that is richly imagined or remembered. Seventy percent of people are visual and seeing these treasures will directly connect you to the life enhancing feelings you experienced when you first got your treasure. Feeling them with your fingertips will further evoke those memories and transfer you to that magical time.
And while you're at it, why not write something today to someone that you care about, which they can add to their own hidden treasures. You will touch them more deeply than you can know.
Namaste,
Dr. DyAnn
But, there are those days and sometimes even those long stretches of time that we can't count on that to occur. Though we greatly appreciate those who are loving and kind to us, we do not want to leave ourselves vulnerable to being needy. Therefore it is imperative to balance our lives so that we know how to uplift ourselves.
One of the most simple and yet profound ways that we can provide ourselves with feelings of self worth is by a technique called the "treasure box". You may have heard of it before or even have made one of your own. Start with a container as simple as a shoe box or as elaborate as what you might find in a gift store. In this box, store the memorabilia that touches your heart: that encouraging note from a friend, a Christmas card from someone who you lost touch with, an e mail forward with a verse that lifted your spirits, pictures which evoke memories of happy times recently and long ago. These are our dearest treasures. They put us back in touch with the knowing that we truly are loved and cared about. If you haven't already started a treasure box I encourage you to do it now.
There is another equally important item which the treasure box must contain. Lovingly place within its confines a special message written to you, from you. Write it as you might address a note to a special friend that you love very much, who perhaps may be hurting and feeling a bit lost and alone. This is a love letter to you. And for many of us, it may be long over due.
Whenever you need to, sift through the treasures that you gather. These contents are more valuable than silver and gold. The science behind their ability to lift your spirits is in that they evoke strong memories and feelings. The subconscious mind does not keep time. It does not know the difference between something that is occurring in the here and now versus something that is richly imagined or remembered. Seventy percent of people are visual and seeing these treasures will directly connect you to the life enhancing feelings you experienced when you first got your treasure. Feeling them with your fingertips will further evoke those memories and transfer you to that magical time.
And while you're at it, why not write something today to someone that you care about, which they can add to their own hidden treasures. You will touch them more deeply than you can know.
Namaste,
Dr. DyAnn
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Your "out of the ordinary" experiences
In my work as a therapist I often heard accounts of that which was out of the range of "ordinary" or "normal". As a trained counselor I might be asked to view these experiences as being some sort of disorder; certainly in rare cases that would be accurate. However, in most instances they were anything but that. In fact they were a profound and beautiful sharing of something we cannot label, simply because of their being anything but ordinary.
What "interesting" or out of the ordinary experiences have you had? Remember those "Coincidences" in your life that defy the odds, prayers answered, or even something as simple as thinking about an old friend that you haven't seen in years and suddenly she calls. Have you ever wanted desperately to avoid someone and ended up coming face-to-face with them at a crowded event you thought they would never attend? (Ouch) Or perhaps something more shocking? More and more is being published about NDE (near death experiences) and visits from those who have recently died. What are we to make of such here-to-for unexplainable, out of the ordinary experiences?
Did you know that someone in a coma hears what is occurring around him? Or, that while under anesthetic, the patient has full awareness of what is going on in the operating room, right down to the details of conversations among the staff? When our brainwaves are sufficiently slowed to a relaxing frequency we have total recall of all the experiences we have had since our soul came into existence. Having assisted hundreds of people in achieving this natural state of relaxation I (along with many other researchers) have indisputable evidence that our mind is much more complicated and magnificent than we know. No wonder Einstein called the mind the last great frontier and Scripture promises that we shall be renewed by the transforming of the mind!
Our mind controls us- but we control our minds. Try this little experiment: the next time you are in a pool, lie on your back and float. Then think about turning to the right while you continue to relax and float. Your body will shift to the right. Our minds control our body and we can learn to wisely control our minds in regard to not only our body/health, but our finances, relationships, and all of our hopes and dreams.
It is important to realize that all of our minds are interconnected. That is why you will run into that person you really do not want to see (against all odds) if you are thinking strongly about him. We have much more command over our Universe than we know. The trick is to learn how to take control. I will be writing more about this in future blogs.
Namaste,
Dr. DyAnn
In my work as a therapist I often heard accounts of that which was out of the range of "ordinary" or "normal". As a trained counselor I might be asked to view these experiences as being some sort of disorder; certainly in rare cases that would be accurate. However, in most instances they were anything but that. In fact they were a profound and beautiful sharing of something we cannot label, simply because of their being anything but ordinary.
What "interesting" or out of the ordinary experiences have you had? Remember those "Coincidences" in your life that defy the odds, prayers answered, or even something as simple as thinking about an old friend that you haven't seen in years and suddenly she calls. Have you ever wanted desperately to avoid someone and ended up coming face-to-face with them at a crowded event you thought they would never attend? (Ouch) Or perhaps something more shocking? More and more is being published about NDE (near death experiences) and visits from those who have recently died. What are we to make of such here-to-for unexplainable, out of the ordinary experiences?
Did you know that someone in a coma hears what is occurring around him? Or, that while under anesthetic, the patient has full awareness of what is going on in the operating room, right down to the details of conversations among the staff? When our brainwaves are sufficiently slowed to a relaxing frequency we have total recall of all the experiences we have had since our soul came into existence. Having assisted hundreds of people in achieving this natural state of relaxation I (along with many other researchers) have indisputable evidence that our mind is much more complicated and magnificent than we know. No wonder Einstein called the mind the last great frontier and Scripture promises that we shall be renewed by the transforming of the mind!
Our mind controls us- but we control our minds. Try this little experiment: the next time you are in a pool, lie on your back and float. Then think about turning to the right while you continue to relax and float. Your body will shift to the right. Our minds control our body and we can learn to wisely control our minds in regard to not only our body/health, but our finances, relationships, and all of our hopes and dreams.
It is important to realize that all of our minds are interconnected. That is why you will run into that person you really do not want to see (against all odds) if you are thinking strongly about him. We have much more command over our Universe than we know. The trick is to learn how to take control. I will be writing more about this in future blogs.
Namaste,
Dr. DyAnn
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
What will you do?
Today I spoke with a friend who was very sad because she could not see the swirl of colors of the autumn leaves this year. Her sadness was compounded by the fact that her friends dismissed her feelings of loss. All she needed was some understanding, someone to say " I get it - sort of." You see, she has always enjoyed fall in NE Wisconsin. And anyone who has had the experience of those breathtaking colors can relate to her former excitement.
My friend is slowly going blind. Her progressive disease had been in remission until this fall. Although her eyesight had been dimmed, she dealt with it well. In fact, she has been a shining example of being thankful for what she has. I often marveled at her response and took it as an example for myself. Those days that I may have been cranky, sad or upset about something on my own journey, I would think of "Lee" and her mounting struggles. Her strength gave me strength.
We all have struggles and challenges. You may be dealing with a difficult relationship, illness, financial difficulties, or even a sense of emptiness that leaves you feeling hollow. One of the most profound sentences I have ever heard is this: treat every heart as though it were breaking.
Today it may not be your heart that feels as though it were breaking or that you just can't endure any more. But, what about the clerk in the grocery store, your next door neighbor, or even someone in your household?
Most people have a difficult time expressing their feelings of vulnerability. We have no way of knowing what they are going through, nor do they know what we might be enduring. So what if we, just for today, could enter the world of that cranky store clerk or nasty neighbor or someone close to us? What if we responded from our own place of integrity and understanding? It might lift them. It might restore their hope. If it doesn't you will still know that you made the world a better place by your positive energy. The only question is how you will handle those choices.
Namaste
DyAnn
My friend is slowly going blind. Her progressive disease had been in remission until this fall. Although her eyesight had been dimmed, she dealt with it well. In fact, she has been a shining example of being thankful for what she has. I often marveled at her response and took it as an example for myself. Those days that I may have been cranky, sad or upset about something on my own journey, I would think of "Lee" and her mounting struggles. Her strength gave me strength.
We all have struggles and challenges. You may be dealing with a difficult relationship, illness, financial difficulties, or even a sense of emptiness that leaves you feeling hollow. One of the most profound sentences I have ever heard is this: treat every heart as though it were breaking.
Today it may not be your heart that feels as though it were breaking or that you just can't endure any more. But, what about the clerk in the grocery store, your next door neighbor, or even someone in your household?
Most people have a difficult time expressing their feelings of vulnerability. We have no way of knowing what they are going through, nor do they know what we might be enduring. So what if we, just for today, could enter the world of that cranky store clerk or nasty neighbor or someone close to us? What if we responded from our own place of integrity and understanding? It might lift them. It might restore their hope. If it doesn't you will still know that you made the world a better place by your positive energy. The only question is how you will handle those choices.
Namaste
DyAnn
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