A Holiday Story

This is a holiday story - a true story. And like all true life stories it has both its high points and low points. As you read it I am confident that it will speak to you with whatever messages you are meant to hear.

I first met "Brandon" and his dad "Tim" when Brandon was in big time trouble in college for failing grades and drug use. Tim, a highly successful businessman, was mad as hell and worried sick about him. More than anything he wanted his son to be happy in life and he knew that Brandon was going about it all wrong. In our individual sessions it almost hurt my own heart as I listened to this father who had such obvious love for his son. And I knew that Brandon was not liking dad's tough love approach so things were pretty rough for a while.

Even though it did not seem like it in the midst of the counseling process, I always knew that Brandon would "get it" some day. He had the deep sensitivity of an old soul but he was living the life of a wounded young man who never got beyond some childhood issues including the ugly divorce his parents went thru and his mother's continued bitterness.
We made our way thru the counseling process and Brandon was successfully launched on his life path. I continued to counsel Tim at various junctures in his personal life as time passed but had not heard from him in several years.
Just before Thanksgiving I was delighted to get an e mail from Brandon. Until I read it, that is. His father, who always took excellent care of himself had literally dropped dead at age 59.

Brandon was heart broken. You see, over the years he and his dad had built a wonderful father~son relationship. They enjoyed football games and other "guy stuff" including Tim advising Brandon about finding the right special someone to share his life with. Now in what seemed like a bad dream it was all gone.
There is never, ever a time that is "better" than others to lose someone that you love deeply; but losing someone special during the holidays is especially harsh (whether they die or any other level of loss of a relationship). Memories that would normally be gladly embraced feel empty and haunting. The joy of others becomes an irritation and Christmas, rather than something to be celebrated is something you just want to be over with.
To make matters even worse for Brandon, his family did not draw closer together following Tim's death. He had made the effort of a Thanksgiving get together as some sort of healing family event but was met with tremendous negativity.
When it came to making Christmas plans he shared with me some of the e-mails that were exchanged between his siblings as well as his mother. As a therapist I could see that they were the misplaced feelings of unresolved layers of grief, pain, poor communication and all that would no longer be. But to the eyes and heart of Brandon they were blaming, dismissive, nasty and and among some members just plain hateful! "Happy blanking holidays" as he said. His family had never been close but now he had this additional loss.
It was now a pivotal time in Brandon's healing process. And this is what makes this a special story. Remember that I said I always knew that somehow Brandon would "get it" some day? He sent an e mail to me today and in the subject line it says "I made it"; that is in reference to the celebration of Christmas.
He did join his family for a few hours but he also "visited his dad" at the cemetery. He shared with me that they had a talk. Brandon came to realize that all his dad wanted was for him to be happy. He shares with me in his e mail:
"My happiness is totally dependent on what is inside of me, not what anyone else says and does.... I feel free and happier than I have ever been. Somehow throughout my life I have always received just the right guidance at the right time from that god/goddess in the sky and I know that will continue to be true.... My goal is to be the best person I can possibly be and I really embrace that idea."

I know that Tim is very proud of him.

Blessings and love to you during this holiday season. May your heart open to receive what ever it is that you need. Like Brandon you never know when there is a miracle right around the corner, just waiting for you.
Until next time~
Dr. DyAnn

Lessons in Gratitude

Someone recently asked me for help in coming up with a prayer to say at the family Thanksgiving meal. Her slight dilemma was that the family is quite traditional and she is quite new age. In other words she "gets it" when it comes to the power of the mind and how we co-create with God. She is afraid her guests might think of this as blasphemous. Her hope is that this could be a teaching opportunity. Or she might get nailed to the proverbial cross. Hmmm

As I thought about it and sent up a prayer to ask for help what came to me is "gratitude". Everyone knows that "thanks giving" is about gratitude. Our minds are in a place of thinking about the blessings that we have received. And what we focus on grows.
That is the connecting point of prayer, thought, those who are more traditional as well as those who have explored beyond those boundaries. By the way I hesitate to use the term "new age." Although at its root the meaning is pure and simple - new age- a powerful time of understanding and using our God given abilities - it has an unfortunate reputation of false gurus, snake oil and weirdos. How unfortunate.
So where was I? Oh yes the connection, the oneness and coming together within gratitude. Because the Universe is all about vibration and energy, our thoughts create. This is the central message of Jesus and many prophets and mystics. So when we put our minds in the state of gratitude, concentrating on how we are blessed and what we are thankful for, we send out a vibration of positive energy. And what we send out returns to us, sooner or later.

A little tip here. We need to be careful and not negate that positive energy. One example is jealousy...if we hear of another person's blessings, while we might be sitting on what feels like a pile of dung with not much to be thankful for, we could end up creating a bigger pile. The Universe listens to our thoughts and feelings. And it responds to them. It does not judge our thoughts and feelings but does respond to them. It does not show favoritism. One person is not more richly blessed by some unknown source while you sit on that pile of crap.

The power and connection is in our subconscious mind. And the good news is that our subconscious mind's tendency is toward a good life and many blessings. But we can muck it up with negative thinking. The subconscious is incredibly powerful - but it can't "think". It obeys our conscious mind/ thinking and is supercharged when strong feelings are added. I have seen this operate in my life on both sides of the coin. Before I knew how this all works I created some pretty unattractive results - especially in relationships. And I created simply awesome results too.

When I was part of a large psych clinic one of the psychologists asked me if I was ever worried about having enough clients. His question gave me pause. That doubt had never entered my mind and results showed up in my over flowing practice. You see, I always "knew" I was meant to do this work. Now I understand that although it is complicated in some ways, it simply boils down to this: my faith and belief in that "knowing" then resonated with Universal Energy, Divine Matrix, God and thus the people who were meant to come to me for healing simply arrived. And I was wise enough to understand that I wasn't wise enough to do the work, so I always asked for help.
We all are guided, protected and loved. The Universe leans toward abundance in all areas. When we clear our minds of doubt, jealousy. anger and fear what is left is an opening to receiving that positive flow. And one of the ways we do that is when we pause and think of that which we are thankful for...breathing it in, calming our mind and thus inviting the Universe to resonate with that energy and bring us more good stuff.
In answer to a recent comment (seeing the negative traits in another and how they bug us yet serve as a teaching moment- brilliant comment by the way ) I would say this. Indeed there will be those situations and people who grate on us and spin negativity in our minds. When that happens to me and the person in my estimation is over the top I think (I'm no saint :) - well they have to live in that **** and I back away. Some times that is all we can do -besides send up a prayer for their healing. But like the woman said in her comment which again I see as coming from a very wise person, the Universe is giving us a "teaching moment". What is there about this person or situation that is getting to me? Why is it striking a nerve? The answer is not because they are such a @#$%%!!**! It is because it resonates with something within me; otherwise it would not strike such a nerve. Some times this is hard to swallow.
For example in that same large psych practice I was in, there was a woman who irritated the heck out of me. She was a wildly flirtatious social butterfly. (That was what I thought on a good day LOL) What on earth would that have to do with striking a nerve with me?
I came to understand that the pearl of wisdom was obviously not in her brushing up to every male that crossed her path. Rather is was in her happy, social way of being. I saw that I had become much too serious. OK then! I" got it" and in my mind I thanked her for the lesson. And she no longer irritated me. That is how the Universe works.What we focus on grows and when I focused on her social aspects, they came out in me. It works that way for all of us. When we understand and reap the rewards of the lesson, the situations tend to dissolve. But until we get it the tendency is for it to grow. Feelings are a powerhouse that fire up the subconscious mind. Studying our feelings can be an inroad to wisdom and a better life.

In gratitude to those who touch my life~
Until next time, blessings and love,
Dr. DyAnn

My Next Post ...

I have been away for a few days - sorry if you have been looking for me! I post about once a week although thoughts are always going thru my head about things to write. I love sharing this information. Our minds are so powerful, creative and manifesting (constantly!) that it is hard to believe. So for now remember to place those garage store stickers scattered about your surroundings so that you remember to check your thoughts. And I promise I will write in reference to the last comment I received - how we draw negative when we think negative thoughts, draw positive to us the same way but hmmmm what to do with those thoughts about someone who is just bugging us because, well in my words, they are just so darned irritating or even infuriating! And the Universe/God just gave me a fresh reminder of that very thing so there is the example just waiting to be shared. But until then, know that you truly are guided, protected and loved.
Blessings ~
Dr. DyAnn

What Goes Up...

...must come down. We learn this the first few times we toss a ball in the air. Our science teachers taught us about the law of gravity. It is a Universal Law - no matter how many times you toss it, and whether you are in China, Peru, or the US, that ball ALWAYS comes down. It would be pretty weird if it didn't! We come to rely on Universal Laws to make sense and have predictability in life. These laws are unbreakable and unchangeable.

Did you know that there are many such Universal Laws? I am not speaking of just laws of nature but universal laws of your mind and spirit. If you know and understand them, your life will operate quite smoothly - and if not... well you are probably left scratching your head and wondering how the bleep some area of your life got so out of control!

Have you ever been stopped for speeding in a zone where you didn't know about the reduced limit? I hate it when that happens! Not fair!! I didn't see the sign. But unless you have a really nice police officer who lets you off with a warning, you will suffer the consequence of not knowing the law.

Our entire life operates that way: if we don't know about the "law" we will suffer the consequences. Conversely, if we understand and apply these laws our life can be dramatically changed.

Oh and before I go further, these universal laws or laws of consciousness are very cool! They are impartial and fair to everyone. I think of them as my guidance system for bringing greater blessings into my life and the lives of others.

Most people believe that we are here to learn lessons, as do I. However, rather than bumping along in the dark trying to figure out the lesson, let alone the answer, it is a much smoother journey if we HAVE THE RULEBOOK! It is akin to seeing the speed limit sign and being able to cruise thru the zone with the confidence that I won't get the hell scared out of me when I see flashing lights in my rear view mirror!

OK so we all know that "like begets like". Dogs have (beget) puppies, cats have kittens, Oak trees beget acorns etc. That is a universal law. Like begets like.

For us this law could be translated to say "the spirit in which I do something will (eventually) be returned to me." If I am nice to someone purely to manipulate them you better believe it, someone else will manipulate me. It may not be the same person or the same time frame or subject area, but I will be manipulated by others. What you sow you shall reap. What goes around comes around. Like begets like.

You know, these laws aren't meant to hurt us or make life difficult ~ quite the opposite! It makes the world a lot nicer place once we understand and live by universal laws. You can change your life if you understand and practice the lesson in just this one law. Here are some practical ideas to get you started.

Years ago I had a co-worker who was so sharp tongued and judgmental that I found myself avoiding her. I am a middle child peace-maker and we just didn't talk that way in our family. (The silent treatment was more our dysfunctional style of choice.) So how on earth would this make sense to me in regards to the reap/sow law? As I think about it now what "Kathy" was teaching me was not just how to sharpen my avoidance tactics. Rather she was showing me it was time to examine my own life and how I judged others.

What we see and don't like in others always has at least a bit of a reflection of something within our self. I know that can be a hard pill to swallow, but from personal experience, if you want your life to run more smoothly and be around more pleasant people and situations, look for the gem of truth in what you are experiencing. What might you have putting out there on an energy level that now is coming back to you? For example, perhaps that crabby person at work is reminding you about how you treat someone at home. Perhaps your spouse showing less interest in you is about you showing less interest- no not in them - but in yourself. Maybe those jerks out on the road are teaching you to be patient (so that you don't have the chemicals building up in your system that will some day blow an artery). The failed relationship with yet another" promising" person may be about your sowing a lack of self-respect, thereby unconsciously lowering your standards and attracting (law of attraction) someone who just is not suited for the best that you are.

So you see, these laws are not the "gonna get you" type we may be weary of, but rather a guidance system that we can count on to make our life so much easier and happier.

If you don't like what you are experiencing "out there" change what is going on "in here". That is where the real power is at anyway. Yes there will be those who we just don't see eye to eye with but once the lesson is learned, what I have found is that it (they) go away. The sharp tongued person takes a different job, the traffic is less irritating, the promising prospect really does turn out to be special.

And the really beautiful part is that now you have your own radar system. When you see a pattern starting to form in your life, check within as to what you may have been putting out there in thoughts and actions (energy) and make the changes that will lead to a happier more successful life.

Until next time~ remember we are all in this together and this law helps us to make life work so much better!

Blessings and love to you and those you love,

Dr. DyAnn

A Supply of Hope

Christine (hopedespitedepression.blogspot.com) is a fellow blogger. I was intrigued by the title. If you have depression or want to understand more about it, you might want to check out her blog.

Hope despite depression.... That says it all. And so today I am inspired to write about hope and some of the ways to get from depression to hope and beyond.

Hope and depression ~ polar opposites. Depression is an ugly place. When I suffered from it and tried to describe it to someone I said it was like living in a deep, cold dark well with my only source of comfort being a scratchy damp blanket. People who have never suffered from depression have a difficult time relating to how oppressive it is.

Hope on the other hand is filled with light and color (Research has shown that when we are depressed our vision is literally washed in gray). Depression is slow, sluggish, bogged down - as if our brain is filled with quicksand - sucking us in deeper. If you look up "hope" in the dictionary you would find words like ambition, confidence, security, daydream, buoyancy. I might describe it as aliveness or engaged in life .

Whether you have some level of depression or not it is vital to understand the mind. Guard well the avenues of your mind...wish I could remember where I first heard or read that because I think that advice is priceless.

So, how do we go about this "guarding"? Well first of all GET RID OF THE NEGATIVES. What we see, hear, taste, smell and touch bombards our brain and our brain responds. (Just like it responds to medication; so this information is empowering. )You know how sometimes you have an unpleasant "mystery smell" in the house and have to hunt it down and get rid of it? Well, that is the same concept for rooting the negatives out of our surroundings, our energy field.

If you are presently depressed I know how difficult it can be to actually "do" something so bear with me - there will be notes about adding positives and you are already doing that. You are home free; you are searching out blogs that might be helpful to you.

So, what are the negatives in your life? Let's start with television. How many nasty things do you view in a day? What about negative news stations? Yes I want to know what is going on in the world but half an hour of hurricanes, greed, murders, the stock market, war and casualties and my good mood is right down the toilet. I find out what is going on in the world around me via the internet where I can peruse the stories and pick and choose what I want to look into. And keep my good mood.

You see, the problem is that television is rather hypnotic. Haven't we all sat down to watch a favorite program and remained plunked down for the evening? It is more than a bad habit. It is about the way the energy waves/pulsations of communication impact our brain. It is a marvelous invention but use it with care.

An easy key is to ask "is this positive or negative"? Because all energy DOES impact our mind. We live in a world of energy. So maybe a little more of "Dancing with the Stars" and a little less of the visually detailed crime stories.

"You are what you eat." Are we ever! So in rooting out the negatives you know where to go with this one. Food is energy - literally. Love your body, your being, enough to choose carefully. Doesn't mean you have to be a purist and give up those Klondike bars but maybe eat fewer sweets or fats and add one healthy food to your diet. Garbage in, garbage out. We cannot function at our best when we are debasing our body by eating crappy worthless food. Eventually the body and mind will reap the results.

Visual surroundings. The optic nerve goes directly into the brain so the impact of what we see is huge. We are constantly scanning and creating thoughts about our environment. Thoughts in turn create feelings. Feelings can delight us or cripple us.

I have a friend who runs the reception desk at a large business complex. There are several offices with windows that face her work center. She told me about how uncomfortable she felt because a guy in one of those offices would often be caught staring at her. I think she used the word "leering." She needed to change the negative! And her solution was very clever. She simply moved the potted plant from one spot on the counter to another - yes, directly between her and the "negative visual." I chuckle every time I think about it. He certainly couldn't complain that the plant was moved!

One of the things I tell clients and those in my seminars is to use "garage store stickers." Yes, those little colored dots. Strategically place them in your home, car, and work area. When you see the dot check your present thought. Is it positive or negative? Make the switch if you need to and be proud of yourself that you did so. It is a great way to get control of your own thinking so that you indeed are "guarding well the avenues of your mind."

Until next time ~ be gentle with yourself - your are a precious individual and your life is a work in progress.

Dr. DyAnn

What is your Purpose?

Have you ever asked yourself "why am I here?" That question might be asked in frustration (!!!) or it might be a very literal wondering what your purpose is in living this lifetime, with these circumstances. I certainly know I have done both. It is much more pleasant to be asking from the second perspective ~ which is perhaps a search for personal meaning in your life. That being said, when we get more clues and understanding as to the "why" we'll find ourselves a lot less frustrated or asking "why" in that" what the bleep" frustrated way!!!

We each have a truly unique purpose which no one else can fill. It can be anything: being the best parent you can be and changing the cycle of abuse that has gone on for generations in your family ~ being the best crossing guard your local school could even dream of by maybe adding joy and humor ~being an advocate for an aging parent, even if that parent seems unappreciative ~loving a significant other (and yourself) enough to set boundaries around alcohol abuse ~ teaching forgiveness by letting go of something really nasty that was done to you or your family~speaking up when it is the right thing to do and you know it in your heart. The list is as endless as there are people in the world.

Here's the point: you don't need to try to be someone special because you already ARE somebody special! Too often we give notice and credit to someone who is famous or renowned or popular, thinking that their life is more important or they are more valuable than your own self. Nothing could be further from the truth. Think about it;

- for the person who breaks that cycle of violence could you ever count the blessings bestowed on future generations?

-for the child who sees that joyous crossing guard every morning, do you realize that may be the only person he or she really feels a connection with because there is the sense that they actually care?

-for the staff who observes you as a tender advocate with a parent who is unappreciative, do you realize what a role model you might be someone in a similar struggle?f

- in setting boundaries you may be the one and last opportunity that alcoholic has to get life back on track because you respect yourself and him/her enough to say "no more"

- by practicing forgiveness can you even imagine the impact on the person who committed the betrayal?

- or in speaking up, have you ever considered the rippling effect that goes out into the world?

These and millions of other examples give us the message that what we are doing right now may be exactly what our purpose is. Perhaps taking the time to realize that what you are doing now is vital and important is what the missing piece is!

Bless you on your journey ~ and may you realize how important it is, for we are all connected, we are all one.

Until next time~

Dr. DyAnn

Seasons of the Mind

This blog discusses the mind and its many wonders. The more we know about the mind the better, for it is the computer that drives our whole system. If we are wise we learn about how to work with this precious powerful resource. While I totally believe in and have read the scientific evidence about the power of the mind, we also need to be aware of some of the things that can seem to go wrong.

So here we are at this time of year when summer has quickly turned to fall. For some of us that means our favorite season is over with, while for others it is just beginning. I was talking to a young woman earlier this week and she mentioned that while she was happy with the progress she is making in working her way out of depression she is rather apprehensive about the possibility of "winter blues" bringing her back down. So, I thought this would be a good time to discuss the subject of Seasonal Affect Disorder from the perspective of what is going on within the mind.

At best this condition can put a damper on the fall/winter season, but at its worse it can really wreak havoc on our lives and bring about deepened depression. Let's talk a little about what it is (if you want more info you can just google it). In general SAD is a grouping of depressive symptoms but what makes it different from general depression is that it is related to the seasons. We can track the occurrence of SAD like a weather map: the shorter the days and the more northern the location, the greater the chance of it occurring. Herein lies the key: the decrease of daylight is really the culprit.

Our brains could be described as chemical factories and one of the keys that brings about the typical symptoms of this condition is melatonin. Less light = more melatonoin produced in our brain. It almost seems like we go into hibernation - we have increased appetite and weight gain, we want to sleep more and may become sleepy during the day, we have less energy and not as much interest in activities and we crave carbs!

So what can we do when this occurs?

Discussing what is going on in your life is almost always helpful - whether it is just the effects of the slow down/grinding halt of SAD or some other issues that perhaps need to be processed. The chemical change brought about by the difference in the amount of melatonin produced by your brain can often change your mood and thus your ability to tolerate life's ups and downs. Another possibility is to talk to your health care provider about medication during the fall/winter months. For most people SAD thankfully leaves along with the last whispers of cold weather and/or gray skies.

Mayo clinic among others gives a solid thumbs up to Light Therapy (phototherapy). It makes sense that if too little light (cloudy conditions and shorter days) helps create this problem, then the addition of light via a light box will help to reduce it.

Above all remember that our thoughts produce our feelings. Feelings are as chemical as melatonin --- We may not be able to move to a sunnier climate but we all certainly have the ability to use the power of our minds to create a happier life. If you believe you will be more depressed this winter you will; if you believe you will be able to do better, you will. Either way you are right.

Until next time~

May you see your many blessings...

Dr. DyAnn

Weight Reduction on Steroids?!!

Have you ever known someone like"Jody" ? She often has a twinkle in her eye, making me wonder what she is up to. She's creative, hard working, loyal to family and friends and has a great sense of humor...I get some of my best/funniest e-mail forwards from her. Actually I met Jody as a client a while back. We have stayed in touch, and recently we worked together on weight reduction ~ a topic of great importance that is a concern for more and more people.

Jody recently sent an e-mail updating her progress. She reported that her doctor had put her on steroids to deal with pain. Now everyone knows that steroids and weight reduction do not exactly go together. In fact the general formula is: steroids = weight gain.

But not for Jody. Not only did she not gain weight, which is a side effect of using steroids, but she already has REDUCED by eight pounds. And I can guarantee that she will continue to reduce her weight and reach her goal, with or without steroids.

So, what is Jody's " secret"? Some new steroid formula? Dialing back her scale? A fluke? No, fortunately it is none of these. In fact her "secret" is not a secret at all. It is simply knowing how to use the power of the human mind. I am so proud of her!

I have worked with hundreds if not thousands of people, helping them to reach their goals using the power of their mind with hypnotherapy as one of the tools. But really all hypnosis is self hypnosis. I realize that my path, my calling is to help teach this to anyone who wants to learn how to have a better, happier life. I am now preparing workshops to teach this material in detail. Along the way I have studied and sharpened my skills. What came to me (we all are truly guided) has been a wealth of information about Universal Laws including the Law of Attraction. (There are many more laws but this one has been quite popularized.) When we have even the basic information about how these truisms work, and add to them the power of our own mind, we really do have amazing power over our life. What we can do seems limitless. Just ask Jody.

One metaphor that I would use to summarize the Law of Attraction is to say that life is like throwing a ball up against the wall... what you toss out comes back to you. So if you throw a tennis ball, a basketball is not what will bounce back at you. In similar fashion if you allow yourself to broadcast negative thoughts, words and emotions ~ well you get the picture.
So, here is a handy tool to use for reaching your goal. We all have the gift of an imagination; it actually has great power. Imagine yourself having reached your goal - what ever it is. The trick here is that you already know you are just imagining it, so "doubt" does not enter into the picture- you are just having fun imagining that great new job, wonderful significant other, healthy slim body, or whatever your dream is.
Remember, the way the energy of the universe works, what we put out there eventually comes back to us. The more richly imagined, complete with emotion, the more quickly and strongly your thoughts will return to you in the real world ~ just like that tennis ball.

Until next time ~Keep your dreams alive!

Dr. DyAnn

buechlertherapy.com

Perception is Everything

Where would you like to see some improvement in your life? Do you read self help books because you want to make some changes? How could you make it happen?

For hundreds of years scientists separated mind from body. We are now in the midst of a medical revolution that proves exactly the opposite, with an entirely new perspective on how the mind and body interact. When you understand the information you can use it to change your life in a very positive way.

I could say that" perception is everything". Why? Because our "read" on something steers how we feel about it and how we respond to it quite literally and powerfully. We have within us the ability to change our emotional state.(Counting to ten, that sort of thing to simplify the example.) Following that line of reasoning, when we alter our emotional state we can positively affect our immune system, if we were to look at just a physical example. Norman Cousins put it this way, " If what one thinks can affect one's internal organs and tissues under ordinary circumstances, how can mental processes be put to use under circumstances of need or challenge? Emotions and attitudes -positive or negative - can affect health and the treatment of disease."

Not only can we stop the course of disease by the understanding of the working of our mind, we can make changes in the programming of all aspects of our being - emotions and perceptions are key.



Emotions are felt and attitudes are formed within the mind.



I invite you to ponder several congruent aspects of the mind. The mind and body are intimately attuned, working together as one for they are one. We are geared to survive; this occurs automatically, without having to think about it. The mind-body is self-healing and self-protective. All the senses constantly scan the environment and send messages to the brain, including those cues which may threaten safety and survival. We cannot override this system, although we may try to ignore it.

Because survival is ultimate, the cues which come in form the external as well as internal environment need to be read and acted on in a timely fashion. We can't afford to configure the speed of a car coming directly at us, the distance across the street, etc - we need to jump out of the way automatically. In order to do so the brain has a shortcut, which essentially leaves out the part of the process that meticulously and laboriously weighs factors (thinks about it logically and systematically).This is not done in a haphazard manner, however. Remember the mind also has stored prior representations of information and does what is called a "state-dependent" match to those cues. It is as if we instantly check files that have the same labels in order to expedite the process. An example would be that we read the cues and " automatically" duck when an object comes flying at our face. Or to step back on the curb when we see a car going much too fast. That is how the process works and the examples are obvious.We know this from past experience.



But the process also has worked, or at least your mind will believe it has, if you emotionally duck out of relationships because your old files read relationships to be hurtful and potentially harmful. I've known people whose relationship files are labeled "will end in failure" or "danger, you will be used". So in order to survive emotionally, guess what they do? You got it, they avoid all potential relationships, including the very ones that may be richly rewarding.

The past impacts the present without our even being aware of it. In our early stages of development, before we had the capacity to soundly judge the cues and prior to having a full range of options of response,(what three year old has a lot of choices or awareness for that matter? He wants to chase the ball into the street, not mindful of the potential dangers. ) -- we built those very files that we depend on in the present to make our judgments and quite virtually, to run our life. In other words, we may unknowingly be making decisions about how to relate to one another, how to live life, based on what happened to us as a very young child. That was when we built our perceptions of reality. That is what is meant by the common phrase that everything is learned by the time we are five years old.

Interesting, huh?

Herein lies the answer to some of the most puzzling aspects of our individual life: why an otherwise highly functioning person may repeatedly participate in a self-defeating activity. So if you have always wondered why you could not succeed in some way, chose partners who ended up being wrong for you, could not seem to find your way in a certain area of life, became addicted to a substance, have low self-esteem even though everyone seems to adore you, (just to name a few examples) I invite you to consider that your internal "files" may be at fault. Remember, what you believe to true, in effect, IS true. So if you believe that when _________________________ of course __________________ will happen, you can bet it will! That is what "self-fulfilling prophesy is all about.

Maybe it is time to look at some of your files, realize they don't fit what you want in life, even who you are - and determine to change the labels.

In future blogs I will continue to share information about the magic of the mind including this phenomenon. But if you want to begin now, read thru past blogs, as therein lie the keys to making your life what you choose it to be. There is no reason to live an unhappy, unsuccessful life. You deserve to be happy, but your happiness is in your own hands, and literally in your belief system , which thankfully can be changed.

When someone "gets" it in regard to this information, it is shocking (in a good way) to see how their life changes. That person can be you.



Remember, you are guided, protected and loved.



Until next time,

Dr. DyAnn

Emmanuel

I want to begin, dear reader, with an apology for being away for so long. You know how we all forget things sometimes. No, not the little every day things like picking up something from the grocery store. I mean the really important things. The things that caress our Souls and help to make life worth living. I lost sight of an important piece of that and it got in the way of my writing to you.

In my heart of hearts I love to write. Even more precisely, I get a charge out of sharing information that might uplift, encourage or educate others. And each morning and evening I cherish the time I spend being on the receiving end of communication by contemplating what others have penned ~the written word comes full circle as I am uplifted and encouraged.

It's not like I haven't been thinking about writing to you, but honestly, self-monitoring got in the way. Don't we all do that at times? Watch over our own shoulder like a harsh teacher who is going to give us a failing grade? Hmmm. We all have one of those internal watchmen. In my dissertation (and perhaps forthcoming book) I call it The Judge: a long-standing and potentially useful member of our Internal Committee.

So I have felt the loving pinch of my consciousness telling me to return to my blog, my home base. It is my hope that when you read it you may find just what you need today. After all, there are no "coincidences."

This morning I reached for something new for my own morning inspiration. I came across Emmanuel's Book. It is a cherished favorite given to me years ago by a very dear friend. I would like to share with you from the Prologue:

The gifts I wish to give you

are my deepest love,

the safety of truth,

the wisdom of the universe

and the reality of God.

With these four things, nothing will deter you.

You will follow your hearts swiftly to your destination,

which is Home.

I hope that speaks to you and gives you what you need today.

For me it did, for it reminded me of the "safety of truth". That truth being that what each of us has to say is important..... Don't judge yourself harshly but rather, love yourself...... Put out your best intentions, and God will take care of the rest.

Until next time

Remember that you are guided, protected and loved.

Dr. DyAnn

d.buechler@yahoo.com

Connect the Dots

Garage sale stickers ~ you know, those little colored circles you can buy in the paper/office section of any store? Did you realize they can be used to boost your energy as well as your sense of happiness?

As you walk around your house, yard, and work place, strategically place a dozen of them on that which you are thankful for. It's not necessarily about the "things" you put them on but what they represent. For example you might place one on your refrigerator, representing gratitude for having enough food to eat. I have one on my appointment book because I am thankful for the relationships I have with my clients, another on a patio chair (for the beauty of Nature) and one on the bedroom dresser so that when I wake up each morning I am thankful for the day. You get the idea.

At a deeper level what the dots do is to empower us. Remember the principle of cause and effect. It is always in operation. Our thinking (conscious mind) leads to our beliefs. Our beliefs lead to our actions. Our actions impact our thoughts - round and round in a cycle that creates what happens in our life moment by moment.
If I think it will be an awful day because I overslept it WILL be an awful day. What will make it awful will not be the oversleeping but my thoughts/attitude about it. Here I am at a decision point. The awfulness could end right there with the oversleeping if instead I say, "Okay I overslept, but my mind can think of ways to deal with it. " I would then be more calm and relaxed. Being calm and relaxed frees up my creative subconscious mind which is virtually limitless in ideas it presents to me. And that includes problem solving the over-sleeping.

Our subconscious mind (the real powerhouse and seat of creation) can not think. It "obeys" the conscious thinking mind. So, if I oversleep and sarcastically think "Oh crap! Great start on the day. I'll never catch up" the subconscious mind is geared to follow up on that line of thinking. And thus it is the thought process that makes that day not such a good one - or finds the way to overcome the time issue and create a good day.

Cause and effect of thoughts can be subtle and hard to catch but it is very powerful. Our thinking/conscious mind is always on and always chattering. It isn't that the thinking mind is bad or wrong, but it can be like a crazy monkey in a gift shop - wreaking havoc to say the least. If we don't train our mind, the gift shop (our life) can become an utter mess. And we would assume we had nothing to do with it ~ but we are NOT powerless!

One of the ways to empowerment is keeping our thinking mind at peace. This is the road to what seems like miracles happening in our life. It isn't that some people are born "lucky." We create our luck. But we can't do it with negative thinking. Thoughts create. Add feelings and you have the key to major power.

That is why I invite you to utilize the idea of the garage sale stickers. When we try to make our conscious mind do a certain thing, such as "think peaceful thoughts" it can be as though someone turned on the wrong switch and all the worries and stresses rush into our mind. Yikes! Where did that come from? Or we attempt to meditate and our to do list demands attention, ceaselessly nagging at us. Don't worry if you think you can't meditate/relax. There are easier ways, I believe, than training with a guru or reading all the self-help books available. If those work for you that is great; but if they do not help that is perfectly fine.

Each of us is a unique individual. Not only do you have your own unique purpose in life that no one but YOU can fulfill but it makes sense that there is a unique way in which your mind works. At the same time there are some basics about the mind and how we are created that are universal. What the garage sale stickers do is to bring forth gratitude. You might be rushing around trying to get something done, stress begins to rise, negative thinking is inviting itself in, when your eyes scan one of the garage sale stickers. Your more powerful subconscious is automatically reminded about something pleasant that you are thankful for. This interupts the circuit of the less than positive thought > feeling > belief > action. In its place is a pleasant feeling. The brain baths you in positive chemicals. This now begins its own cycle which literally follows a different circuitry in the brain. In reality, you have the ability to train your brain and master Energy. This is one of the easiest ways to do it.

Until next time~
Blessings and love to you and those you love,
Dr. DyAnn

Namaste

In India when we meet and part we often say "Namaste" which means ~ I honor the place in you where the entire Universe resides; I honor the place in you of love, of light, of truth, of peace. I honor the place within you where, if you are in that place in you, and I am in that place in me, there is only one of us.

I don't know who wrote that beautiful quote but it sits in a place of honor near my computer. It reminds me to return to "that place in me." That place of beauty and peace where disagreements and hurts seem petty ~and we can bid them to easily drift by like clouds in the sky. But how do we get to that place during those times it seems so distant and impossible to reach?
Sometimes our world flows freely ~ the parking spot is available, the relatives are all getting along, and things are just fine at work. But what about other times when it seems as though nothing is going well in life: we suffer disappointments or people let us down. Something we claimed as our own is taken away: a pet dies, a relationship diminishes or our health gives us problems. It is at these times that it is most difficult to feel as though we are "at one" with the Universe and one other.

But it is precisely at these times that we need one another and that sense of "oneness." We need to feel as though we are connected. If we are lucky those around us will reach out to us. Ah but how often in my work as a healer do I find that those who are hurting the most are wearing a smiling mask that denies any problem! All in all it is an individual challenge to find that connection.

"Treat every heart as though it were breaking." I have yet to find a truly negative response when I offer the hand of kindness to the most crotchety sort of individual. Maybe that person who is checking out your groceries has a sick child at home but has to come to work to make ends meet and keep the bill collectors at bay. I pretend that the person who cuts me off in traffic is late for an important appointment. I claim my inner peace and connection as One.
I urge you to keep your radar out. There are many people around us who need our simple offering of kindness ~ some recognition of them as a real flesh and blood person, not merely the store clerk, co-worker, neighbor or even family member. Not only are you sending them positive energy and an invitation to "Oneness" but you thus claim your own inner peace with your acts of kindness.

Certainly there will be those times when it is you who is hurting. What can you do when no one seems to notice that you are in pain? Fortunately we can connect to what we need via our own volition and internal abilities. This holds true even when we feel very small and the situation seems quite hopeless. When my husband and I relocated there were many things that did not turn out as planned. Not only did the problems seemed insurmountable but it was as if someone turned on a faucet that had troubles and heartaches freely flowing in our direction.
If we keep a deep connection to spiritual reality we know we are not alone. Somehow deep within we sense we are guided, protected and loved. We are connecting with that wonderful something out there in whatever way we best understand it: Nature, God, angels, guides, the Universal Energy of Creative Love.
Dr Joyce Whitley Hawkes was once a highly successful physicist, publishing many manuscripts and working as a research scientist. Following a near death experience she was inspired to change careers, subsequently earning a degree in pastoral ministry. In her book Cell-Level Healing she shares one way in which to make that connection of Oneness. It is called the Jabez Prayer:

Lord bless me, indeed

Before the day begins, before envisioning action,

make a conscious choice to become still.

Stay with the first line of the Jabez Prayer until your mind settles,

becoming naturally quiet.

Maintain your clear state by receiving this blessing

at the beginning of the day.

Expand my territory.

The connection to Spirit creates a natural flow of energy

that is available for service.

It shines with the true gifts of the individual.

Expanded opportunities for service will show up unexpectedly

as you pray the second powerful line of the prayer.

The words "I am willing" may be added.

Place your hand upon me.

How many times have you embarked on a worthy project

only to run out of enthusiasm before it is finished?

Pray for sustained connection and energy

in addition to inspiration.

"Place your hand upon me" can sustain you and keep you on track.

Keep me from evil that I may do no harm.

This line of the Jabez prayer can be individually interpreted.

For example, "Let me not waver from

integrity in myself, my thoughts, and my actions."

At the end (page 33) Dr. Hawkes thanks Bruce Wilkinson for writing about the prayer found in 1 Chronicles 4: 9-10. How inspiring.

May you truly feel your connectedness as One. All that is needed is your invitation.

Until next time~ blessings and love to you and those you love.

Namaste

Dr. DyAnn

Signs Along the Way

Life is a series of choices. We do not need to live a life that is haphazard at best, miserable at worse. What you do today impacts what your life will be tomorrow. There are some essential things to know if you want to build a life of success.

Life is what you make it. For example, a student who does not do her homework will quite possibly find herself in a problematic situation the next day in class or certainly at test time! Someone who skips meals and doesn't get enough rest is creating a situation whereby his immune system will likely be compromised in the near future. A woman who decides to ignore her husband's abusive comments will have to endure more of the same in the future.

When we realize and truly grasp that we create our tomorrows, life becomes something that really is our own choosing. No one is the victim of fate. It is not our circumstances that determine what kind of life we will live; it is what we do with those circumstances.
There are wonderful success stories available to us in this regard. "Blind Side" is currently a popular movie based on the true story of a boy who is literally taken from the streets of poverty as a homeless youth...we fast forward and see him playing on the pro football field! Someone intervened in his life to change his circumstances, enabling him to use his raw talent. There are so many beautiful lessons in this inspiring movie.

But what if you have had no one who reached out and offered to change your circumstances? It doesn't matter. In the end you are the one who changes your own circumstances and thus your life path.
There are countless stories of people who may not be famous but nonetheless who are living their own success story. They changed their own circumstances or found the gift within them. Jamie is one such person. Born with a serious birth defect, he was coddled by his family. "Clearly" he revealed in a session, "they not only felt sorry for me but they felt ashamed of my disability. I remember they tried to hide it in family photos."
Jamie did not let his circumstances stop him. He went on to build a successful corporation which is thriving even in today's tough economy. He is one of the most dynamic people I have ever met. It takes about five minutes of sitting with him before his disability melts from view. All that is left is someone who loves life and any challenge thrown his way.

Life is what YOU make it. But just how does one make life successful? How do we know what to do?

The Universe, God, Divine Matrix (choose whatever term works for you) provides everything we need in order to have a happy, successful life. We don't have to find our way alone. Look for signs along the way that inspire you as you make your daily choices. I recently had a conversation with a client with whom I felt the need to clearly emphasize this point. "Watch for the signs. I am sure they will come to you." She E mailed me with the exciting news that not only did she get a sign but it was shockingly specific and unique. What made it even sweeter is that it came from the last person she expected it from ..... and the person from whom she needed it most. What a happy ending. The Universe wants us to be happy and successful.

Ask for help and inspiration along the way. Then don't forget to watch for the signs that your request has been answered. And last but just as important, be sure to follow thru. The Universe is not going to gives us more signs if we hold in disregard that which we have already been given.

Until next time ~
Blessings and love to you and those you love,
Dr. DyAnn

"Calm Down!!"

No matter how smart, educated or advantaged a person is - no matter how great a thinker they may be, the more powerful subconscious mind will ALWAYS trump the cognitive mind. Furthermore, no matter how powerful a person's resolve or will is, the subconscious mind is immeasurably stronger. There is a little trick to this which I am going to share with you.

The subconscious mind "believes" what we tell it. Here is a typical example. I was in a well known coffee shop (B&N) recently and overheard two young women talking about their New Year's resolutions to exercise. "Ya, but I won't last more than a couple weeks. That is what always happens." Yes, that young woman is absolutely correct! She might have all the well-intention and desire in the world to keep exercising, but she sunk herself with that simple statement.
Our subconscious mind is always listening to us - hearing what we say, think and believe. It as if her inner mind said, "Oh okay, the cut off point is two weeks." I would guarantee that her exercise program failed.
But it did not need to! We don't need to fail at our resolutions year after year. And we don't need to "fail" at anything else. Our history does NOT need to predict our future... if we know how to use our powerful subconscious mind.

One of the reasons the subconscious mind is so powerful is that it is the seat of our emotions; our emotional brain is much more powerful than the cognitive (conscious) brain. Unless we calm the mind and what is called the sympathetic nervous system we can't hear our own wisdom. Want some proof? Just try to "think straight' when you are in a panic over something. Frustrated because you are late and can't find your car keys? You won't be able to recall where you last put them if your emotions are running high. If you know how to calm yourself you will remember that odd place where you last set them down... believe me, I know this works!
Relaxation is the key.
Thru relaxation we access all parts of the brain and our being... including memory. All memory as I mentioned in my last blog, as well as our emotions, are seated in the subconscious mind. But when we are overcome (literally) by emotion, our brain goes into stress reaction. "I can't find my keys! I'm going to be late -where the heck are they?! Now I'm going to have to deal with explaining why I am late. I'm never going to find them #$%^**!!!!"

In the above scenario we literally block the memory of where our keys are located. Any situation in which we need to think, or even be reasonable is not going to have the best results when we are less than calm and relaxed. Think of the last time you were in a heated discussion with someone. The more our emotional level goes up, the less reasonable things that come out of our mouth! We tend to lose control.

It all circles back to relaxation.
When we are calm and relaxed, our emotions are calm or can be calmed down. We can center ourselves. We can rise above the emotions, take them into consideration, say reasonable things and make more reasonable decisions.
There are many self calming techniques. Here is one to try. Roll your eyes up to the ceiling, breathe slowly....and close your eyes. Take your time doing this. Then ask yourself how you want to respond to the situation.
The point is to calm your system down. You are moving out of the fight/flight stress response. That is not where you do your best thinking! When you calm yourself down you are in control of your thoughts and your emotions.

You are in control of your life.
So whether it is those keys you can't find, someone that is pushing your buttons and getting an emotional response out of you, or the dull panic of something you are worried about, the key is to calm yourself, thereby accessing the powerful subconscious mind. We have unlimited wisdom within, but we cannot access it in a hyper state.

Have fun practicing self-soothing, calming techniques. That is where your real success lies!

Until next time,
Blessings and love to you and those you love,
Dr. DyAnn