"You're Soooo Sensitive!" Has anyone ever said that to you? It normally is said as an accusation- kind of like having a skin rash no one wants to get near. It makes you feel bad - like there is something wrong with you because of your sensitivity. And certainly there may have been times you agreed with your accuser, wishing you didn't cry, feel so emotional or become upset so easily.
Sensitivity is not a bad thing! When it controls us, yes, we need to do something so that we don't get thrown off balance. However, I truly believe that we need more sensitivity and sensitive people in this world, not fewer.
I recently met a delightful woman - I will call her Carrie. She is energized, open to sharing ideas, and has a calm confident way about her. She has a quick, easy smile that instantly puts a person at ease and makes you want to be around her. Carrie shared with me that she beat Cancer with ease and I was not surprised. When I asked her how she did it she said it had a lot to do with her attitude. (That is one of the Truths or Laws of the Universe... attitude, or belief is 90% of what causes success or failure. That isn't a scientific number by the way, so don't quote me on it!)
Karrie shared with me that she was dealing with her last child leaving home. She is having a really difficult time with it. She is perplexed because she can not get a sense of control over her emotions. She asked me my opinion as to why she could beat something as difficult as Cancer, and yet have such a difficult time with emotions. She revealed that whenever anything was upsetting to her she lost her confidence and her emotions were all over the place.
Folks, this is how I see it. Carrie and many people like her have been accused of being overly sensitive. Often times it starts in childhood, with parents either directly or indirectly letting us know that our emotions are not OK. Some of the time it is with good intention, so that we can be "tougher" and handle the world out there. But the message none-the-less comes across that there is something not right about us.
People with a high emotional ratings often times are the most benevolent, compassionate people we know. They truly can empathize with us and almost literally put themselves in our shoes. They respond to our pain with real emotion. Sound like you? If so, then it is time to be thankful that you have this gift. Yes, I said gift. People who are "sensitives" often times pick up feelings and even information that other people are not even aware of. Call it instinct or "gut feelings" (the gut is sometimes called the second brain). But because they have not been encouraged and taught properly about their feelings, they denounce their innate ability. Some of you may be sensitives who buried that part of your self.
No doubt this gift is a double-edged sword and we must learn how to handle it correctly. Rather than trying to extinguish the flame of sensitivity, one must learn to cherish the ability and utilize it to make the world a better place. At the same time, there is a need to block out the harmful negative energy of others whose exchanges are- shall we say "insensitive" at best. This can be done in many different ways. If possible, remove yourself from the physical space of a negative person/people. If that is not possible, simply imagine that you are surrounded by God's love, light or an impenetrable invisible bubble.
There is scientific research that backs the positive outcome of this seemingly silly response. The reason it works is that the imagination is stored in the powerful subconscious part of the mind. What we imagine to be true (such as the protective bubble that will not allow the words or energy to harm us) becomes true. This is but one practical application of the laws of the Universe.
Namaste,
Until next time,
Dr. DyAnn
Friday, January 30, 2009
Monday, January 26, 2009
Beth's Dream
There was a really great book before The Secret and others like it that have sprung up like mushrooms on a damp forest floor since it was published. The big deal about this new book is the promise of dreams and wishes coming true. While I do like the basic idea that it discusses I must confess that I am a little disappointed in it. This is simply because it presents the information as though all one has to do is wish and whatever the dream is, it comes true.
Yes, in its simplest form the book's information is true. But I am afraid some damage may have been done in creating disillusionment in those who read it without fully understanding it; thus their wishes did not come to fruition. But, we should not be discouraged about dreams coming true. The underlying power of creative forces is the subconscious mind. Yes, YOUR subconscious mind. Many people, both famous and every day folks like you and me are living proof of this.
Since "Beth" was very young she dreamed of becoming a therapist. But how was that ever going to happen for a 21 year old with no education and two babies? Beth sold Avon and grew to love the people on her route. She would find herself spending a lot of time listening to their problems. She was a very successful sales lady in spite of her breaking all the rules and being more interested in her customers' stories than selling them her products. She rose to the top of her field and won many awards for her sales without even trying. But after ten years she knew she just could no longer do it. She was bored and frustrated and "needed something different."
Realizing that her resume would give her a shot only at sales, she decided to take a couple of courses at a local junior college. The rest was history; studying psychology and sociology was inspiring and uplifting. She had a better insight into her customers' problems and a hint of how she might have helped. But once she earned her associate degree she reached a dead end. She won a scholarship to a larger school but it was over an hour away and getting a higher education had never been part of the plan - or the family budget! It all seemed quite impossible.
Still, she felt so deeply drawn to the field of psychology. She often found herself daydreaming of having a beautiful office where people could come and feel safe enough to talk about what troubled them. A place where she really could help them. Beth "put out a fleece" to ask God/the Universe what she should do, believing she would receive the direction and the help she needed in order to live a purposeful life. And she made it really tough to get a "yes" answer for a counseling career. Years later, Beth still has the physical evidence of the "yes" answer she received. It serves as a physical reminder during those times that she begins to forget the magnificence of working with the Universal Laws, God, and our creative subconscious mind.
And I should know, because in actuality I am the "Beth" in this story. What I thought was merely a far off dream which I could never attain became my reality. I have enjoyed a very successful private practice for many years and now enjoy helping others in even more ways than I could have imagined. This blog is just one of them...
In future blogs I will share how I helped to make my wildest dreams come true by using Universal Laws - even before I knew what that term meant! You will be able to apply those principles to understand and enhance your life.
Until then- dream!
And you might enjoy the dream poem on my website buechlertherapy.com
Blessings and love to you and those you love,
Dr. DyAnn
Yes, in its simplest form the book's information is true. But I am afraid some damage may have been done in creating disillusionment in those who read it without fully understanding it; thus their wishes did not come to fruition. But, we should not be discouraged about dreams coming true. The underlying power of creative forces is the subconscious mind. Yes, YOUR subconscious mind. Many people, both famous and every day folks like you and me are living proof of this.
Since "Beth" was very young she dreamed of becoming a therapist. But how was that ever going to happen for a 21 year old with no education and two babies? Beth sold Avon and grew to love the people on her route. She would find herself spending a lot of time listening to their problems. She was a very successful sales lady in spite of her breaking all the rules and being more interested in her customers' stories than selling them her products. She rose to the top of her field and won many awards for her sales without even trying. But after ten years she knew she just could no longer do it. She was bored and frustrated and "needed something different."
Realizing that her resume would give her a shot only at sales, she decided to take a couple of courses at a local junior college. The rest was history; studying psychology and sociology was inspiring and uplifting. She had a better insight into her customers' problems and a hint of how she might have helped. But once she earned her associate degree she reached a dead end. She won a scholarship to a larger school but it was over an hour away and getting a higher education had never been part of the plan - or the family budget! It all seemed quite impossible.
Still, she felt so deeply drawn to the field of psychology. She often found herself daydreaming of having a beautiful office where people could come and feel safe enough to talk about what troubled them. A place where she really could help them. Beth "put out a fleece" to ask God/the Universe what she should do, believing she would receive the direction and the help she needed in order to live a purposeful life. And she made it really tough to get a "yes" answer for a counseling career. Years later, Beth still has the physical evidence of the "yes" answer she received. It serves as a physical reminder during those times that she begins to forget the magnificence of working with the Universal Laws, God, and our creative subconscious mind.
And I should know, because in actuality I am the "Beth" in this story. What I thought was merely a far off dream which I could never attain became my reality. I have enjoyed a very successful private practice for many years and now enjoy helping others in even more ways than I could have imagined. This blog is just one of them...
In future blogs I will share how I helped to make my wildest dreams come true by using Universal Laws - even before I knew what that term meant! You will be able to apply those principles to understand and enhance your life.
Until then- dream!
And you might enjoy the dream poem on my website buechlertherapy.com
Blessings and love to you and those you love,
Dr. DyAnn
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Mind, BODY and Spirit
It has often been said that we are a soul that is housed in a body. Scripture describes the body as being the temple of God. We are each mind, body and spirit. Physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. One is not separate from the others.
There are numerous things we can do to gain enlightenment, but if we are walking around not feeling our best we may be hampering those efforts.We owe it to ourselves to learn what we might do to be our best physical selves so that we might better enjoy the mental, emotional and spiritual aspects of life.
One of my favorite psychological theories is Maslow's Hierarchy. In fact I used his theory as one of the components for the original theory and research I developed for my doctoral dissertation. Maslow discussed basic human needs and the fact that they could be viewed as a hierarchy. Like rungs on a ladder, you simply cannot address level three until you have attended to levels one and two. If you want good self esteem, a sense of belonging, and fulfillment of aesthetic needs, you must first satisfy the physiological/biological needs, for they sustain life. The majority of a person's attention will be at this level until the particular needs are met to the proportion needed to sustain sufficient performance of the body.
What that amounts to is this: If you scored tickets for the most fantastic event you can imagine, but you ended up with a serious headache, you simply cannot enjoy the event. Your faculties will be lent to taking care of the physical you.
I thought it might be interesting, therefore, to hear some of the newer research on the organic nutrients that help sustain normal metabolism and good health - our vitamins.
Here are some interesting findings:
Vitamin E helps control dystmenorrhea (menstrual pain)
Stress level high? Again Vitamin E, is of help.
The Journal, Medical Chemistry, reported that Vitamins C helps to kill off malignant cells in the body and helped in the treatment of prostrate cancer.
Worried about cholesterol? Vitamins C and E help with these levels and slow the progression of heart disease.
Many people may know that vitamin C is good for overall circulation, but it was also reported to help prevent premature delivery, and assists in dental health (along with Vitamin B) .
As our population ages there is concern about cognitive decline; one of the vitamins research suggests helps with ability is folic acid.
Vitamin D is good for bone health and one study suggested it helped with low back pain, rheumatoid arthritis, and helps to improve the symptoms of many chronic disorders. I have also read research that it helps to prevent or treat depression.
Keep in mind that dietary supplements here in the US are regulated by the Food and Drug Administration. Vitamins and other such supplements may not claim to prevent or treat specific disease, although they may state how they may reduce the risk of a condition which is health related. Although it is best to get the vitamins from the food we eat, our diet is often not balanced and the food itself is often deficient.
I would hope that you would look further into this topic. There is a lot of good information online. A reputable health food store will also be able to assist you in giving recommendations for dealing with specific conditions and how vitamins may help you to strive toward optimal physical health. This is turn will bolster your system so that you may deal with the stress inherent in today's world.
Remember we cannot separate one part of our being from the rest. Although I know that this topic is not the sort of thing I usually write about, I think it deserves being mentioned so that each of you might be healthy and thus strive to truly live your purpose and share the gifts that are uniquely yours in today's world.
Until next time,
Dr. DyAnn
There are numerous things we can do to gain enlightenment, but if we are walking around not feeling our best we may be hampering those efforts.We owe it to ourselves to learn what we might do to be our best physical selves so that we might better enjoy the mental, emotional and spiritual aspects of life.
One of my favorite psychological theories is Maslow's Hierarchy. In fact I used his theory as one of the components for the original theory and research I developed for my doctoral dissertation. Maslow discussed basic human needs and the fact that they could be viewed as a hierarchy. Like rungs on a ladder, you simply cannot address level three until you have attended to levels one and two. If you want good self esteem, a sense of belonging, and fulfillment of aesthetic needs, you must first satisfy the physiological/biological needs, for they sustain life. The majority of a person's attention will be at this level until the particular needs are met to the proportion needed to sustain sufficient performance of the body.
What that amounts to is this: If you scored tickets for the most fantastic event you can imagine, but you ended up with a serious headache, you simply cannot enjoy the event. Your faculties will be lent to taking care of the physical you.
I thought it might be interesting, therefore, to hear some of the newer research on the organic nutrients that help sustain normal metabolism and good health - our vitamins.
Here are some interesting findings:
Vitamin E helps control dystmenorrhea (menstrual pain)
Stress level high? Again Vitamin E, is of help.
The Journal, Medical Chemistry, reported that Vitamins C helps to kill off malignant cells in the body and helped in the treatment of prostrate cancer.
Worried about cholesterol? Vitamins C and E help with these levels and slow the progression of heart disease.
Many people may know that vitamin C is good for overall circulation, but it was also reported to help prevent premature delivery, and assists in dental health (along with Vitamin B) .
As our population ages there is concern about cognitive decline; one of the vitamins research suggests helps with ability is folic acid.
Vitamin D is good for bone health and one study suggested it helped with low back pain, rheumatoid arthritis, and helps to improve the symptoms of many chronic disorders. I have also read research that it helps to prevent or treat depression.
Keep in mind that dietary supplements here in the US are regulated by the Food and Drug Administration. Vitamins and other such supplements may not claim to prevent or treat specific disease, although they may state how they may reduce the risk of a condition which is health related. Although it is best to get the vitamins from the food we eat, our diet is often not balanced and the food itself is often deficient.
I would hope that you would look further into this topic. There is a lot of good information online. A reputable health food store will also be able to assist you in giving recommendations for dealing with specific conditions and how vitamins may help you to strive toward optimal physical health. This is turn will bolster your system so that you may deal with the stress inherent in today's world.
Remember we cannot separate one part of our being from the rest. Although I know that this topic is not the sort of thing I usually write about, I think it deserves being mentioned so that each of you might be healthy and thus strive to truly live your purpose and share the gifts that are uniquely yours in today's world.
Until next time,
Dr. DyAnn
Monday, January 19, 2009
A Friend's Request
"I'm afraid she is going to set herself up so ends up going to jail!" Mikki and I were having a lively phone consultation about one of her favorite clients, a woman who has been horrifically abused by her ex husband. His methods were such a disgusting display of psychopathic creativity! Many of those on Mikki's burgeoning caseload have unresolved trauma. Because of my specialty work as a hypnotherapist she enjoys my insights into the power of the mind and the importance of words and concepts in the healing process.
To that end, Mikki asked if I might be willing to do some training for her and her fellow therapists. We discussed some of the basics and I started to play around with the idea.
I pulled out one of my books that specializes in trauma work and started reading more research. I also looked into some of the present requirements for doing presentations by which therapists can earn CEU's.
Although this is a worthy project I could never quite get excited about it. There seemed to one barrier after another as I worked on it. We have all had those kinds of experiences. Something starts out so simple but we discover that step two has parts A, B, and C. Then you discover that all the work you did in step one had a time requirement on it! And even Mikki's unfaltering respect for my creativity was not making the power point program any easier. I felt exasperated!
Last night I began writing Mikki an e mail to let her know that I was not going to do the project. I was concerned that she would be disappointed and I struggled with how to tell her. As I listed all the difficulties I had been having I was aware that my energy was dampened even thinking about the project. I did not want to put that kind of energy out so I knew my decision was the right one - remember that what we put out into the Universe comes back to us. It is amazing how a thoughtful review of a situation can bring clarity.
As I was writing, I shared with her that I just did not feel this was the right project for me: maybe the timing was off, maybe the focus was wrong, but in general I just could not get enthused about it. Then it came to me: "Don't Push the River". Loosely translated this means that in order to be in the loving, abundant flow of the Universe, we need to go with the flow. Life is not meant to be difficult. If there is something that is difficult and not working out, then we need to consider that perhaps it is not meant to be.
Now I am not saying that we just give up on things, not at all. But we need to be mindful that there is a wonderful guiding force in our lives. During those times that we aligned with that flow, our life is not going to be without challenges, but it will be a whole lot easier!
The combination of the roadblocks that came my way and the lack of a feeling of enthusiasm about the project let me know that something about it just isn't right. I have learned to respect this kind of internal message. When we quiet our selves we truly do get the messages we need from the Universal Creative Energy of Love. My energy now will be guided in the direction that will be most helpful to those whose lives I touch. In like manner, for the Universe operates in perfection, Nikki's clients will also be guided to exactly what they need. The principles of the Universe are that perfect.
Namaste,
Dr. DyAnn
To that end, Mikki asked if I might be willing to do some training for her and her fellow therapists. We discussed some of the basics and I started to play around with the idea.
I pulled out one of my books that specializes in trauma work and started reading more research. I also looked into some of the present requirements for doing presentations by which therapists can earn CEU's.
Although this is a worthy project I could never quite get excited about it. There seemed to one barrier after another as I worked on it. We have all had those kinds of experiences. Something starts out so simple but we discover that step two has parts A, B, and C. Then you discover that all the work you did in step one had a time requirement on it! And even Mikki's unfaltering respect for my creativity was not making the power point program any easier. I felt exasperated!
Last night I began writing Mikki an e mail to let her know that I was not going to do the project. I was concerned that she would be disappointed and I struggled with how to tell her. As I listed all the difficulties I had been having I was aware that my energy was dampened even thinking about the project. I did not want to put that kind of energy out so I knew my decision was the right one - remember that what we put out into the Universe comes back to us. It is amazing how a thoughtful review of a situation can bring clarity.
As I was writing, I shared with her that I just did not feel this was the right project for me: maybe the timing was off, maybe the focus was wrong, but in general I just could not get enthused about it. Then it came to me: "Don't Push the River". Loosely translated this means that in order to be in the loving, abundant flow of the Universe, we need to go with the flow. Life is not meant to be difficult. If there is something that is difficult and not working out, then we need to consider that perhaps it is not meant to be.
Now I am not saying that we just give up on things, not at all. But we need to be mindful that there is a wonderful guiding force in our lives. During those times that we aligned with that flow, our life is not going to be without challenges, but it will be a whole lot easier!
The combination of the roadblocks that came my way and the lack of a feeling of enthusiasm about the project let me know that something about it just isn't right. I have learned to respect this kind of internal message. When we quiet our selves we truly do get the messages we need from the Universal Creative Energy of Love. My energy now will be guided in the direction that will be most helpful to those whose lives I touch. In like manner, for the Universe operates in perfection, Nikki's clients will also be guided to exactly what they need. The principles of the Universe are that perfect.
Namaste,
Dr. DyAnn
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Where is the Instruction Manual?!
Have you ever asked yourself "Why does this keep happening to me?" Have there been times that you have felt stuck and did not know the way out - and the harder you fought the worse it got? Or have there been times that you just knew that if you did "A" then "B" was going to happen? But you did it anyway and sure enough it did happen? Yeah, we've all been there. Sometimes we learn our lessons and we do figure things out. Other times we seem to walk blindly. We try our best but it seems to take forever to learn what we need to know - and by then the rules seem to have changed!
Wouldn't it be great if there were an instruction manual for life? You know, something that would tell us what follows this step or that. Something that would let us know ahead of time what the possible pitfalls are and how to avoid them. Something that would not go against our value system, would give us empowerment over our own life, and leave us with a sense that we are truly guided.
Think about something for a moment. No matter what part of the world you live in, water freezes at the same temperature and always boils at the same temperature. If you throw a rock off a bridge it falls downward; the law of gravity operates no matter the time or place. Cats produce cats and dogs produce dogs. Two molecules of hydrogen and one of oxygen constitutes water. These facts are never changing because they are laws of nature.
In similar fashion there are Universal Laws that govern our life. No matter our age, race, socioeconomic level, sex or any other description of a person, these governing laws are the same. They apply equally to everyone, at all times, no matter where you live, no matter your spiritual or religious orientation. The beauty of understanding and applying the Universal Laws is that we can improve not only own own life but the lives of those around us and the world in which we live. They are truly transforming and have been taught since the beginning of time in one fashion or another.
One of the most easily understood laws is "like begets like". Whether thoughts, motives, or attitudes, we most certainly draw to our self what we put out into the Universe. For example, Scripture cautions us with "judge not, lest you be judged". In other words, if you are judgmental toward others, you will find others being judgmental toward you-- or kind, or caring, or forceful, or selfish or loving. This is an aspect of the law of attraction made popular again by the book The Secret. Negative thoughts are not going to produce positive outcomes.
So, next time you realize you are passing a negative judgment on someone, stop, take a deep breath, and find something to respect and admire about that individual. And do it in the spirit of wanting to make yourself a better person because that is where you have ultimate control. If you want more respect from others, examine how you might be more respectful toward those around you. If love has let you down, work on being more loving toward your self. If you are lonely, reach out to others. Another universal law is that we all eventually reap what we sow. Ensure for yourself all that you want out of life by sowing that very thing in your life, beginning with your thoughts and attitudes. These are some of the basics of the instruction manual!
Until next time
Blessings and love to you and those you love,
Dr DyAnn
Wouldn't it be great if there were an instruction manual for life? You know, something that would tell us what follows this step or that. Something that would let us know ahead of time what the possible pitfalls are and how to avoid them. Something that would not go against our value system, would give us empowerment over our own life, and leave us with a sense that we are truly guided.
Think about something for a moment. No matter what part of the world you live in, water freezes at the same temperature and always boils at the same temperature. If you throw a rock off a bridge it falls downward; the law of gravity operates no matter the time or place. Cats produce cats and dogs produce dogs. Two molecules of hydrogen and one of oxygen constitutes water. These facts are never changing because they are laws of nature.
In similar fashion there are Universal Laws that govern our life. No matter our age, race, socioeconomic level, sex or any other description of a person, these governing laws are the same. They apply equally to everyone, at all times, no matter where you live, no matter your spiritual or religious orientation. The beauty of understanding and applying the Universal Laws is that we can improve not only own own life but the lives of those around us and the world in which we live. They are truly transforming and have been taught since the beginning of time in one fashion or another.
One of the most easily understood laws is "like begets like". Whether thoughts, motives, or attitudes, we most certainly draw to our self what we put out into the Universe. For example, Scripture cautions us with "judge not, lest you be judged". In other words, if you are judgmental toward others, you will find others being judgmental toward you-- or kind, or caring, or forceful, or selfish or loving. This is an aspect of the law of attraction made popular again by the book The Secret. Negative thoughts are not going to produce positive outcomes.
So, next time you realize you are passing a negative judgment on someone, stop, take a deep breath, and find something to respect and admire about that individual. And do it in the spirit of wanting to make yourself a better person because that is where you have ultimate control. If you want more respect from others, examine how you might be more respectful toward those around you. If love has let you down, work on being more loving toward your self. If you are lonely, reach out to others. Another universal law is that we all eventually reap what we sow. Ensure for yourself all that you want out of life by sowing that very thing in your life, beginning with your thoughts and attitudes. These are some of the basics of the instruction manual!
Until next time
Blessings and love to you and those you love,
Dr DyAnn
Friday, January 9, 2009
Real Magic
We all have had coincidences happen in life - those occurrences when it seems a little odd that something happens in a certain way or time. A coincidence is defined as chance, luck or even a twist of fate.
I had three "coincidences" occur within the last month. The first one occurred when I sent a note to a former client; we had always had a wonderful connection, and in fact I wrote about her in one of my first blogs. I was thinking of her and just wanted to let her know how proud I am of her and that she is one of my heroes. The letter was returned stamped "no longer at this address. Unable to forward." A few days later I got an e-mail from her daughter (who wasn't exactly sure of my e-mail address but tried anyway); she informed me that her mom was very saddened by a terrible loss and that she was trying to figure out how to locate me!
The second coincidence occurred when I was sending out Christmas cards this holiday season. I came across the address of an old friend that I had not communicated with for several years, so I sent her a card. Here is what she wrote back to me: I have been revisiting my spiritual path, thinking of you, and two days later I received your card. It was a dejavu moment; we have been researching various beliefs, and it seems to be a planned reconnection by you and me...."
The third occurrence involved yet another person I had been wanting to reconnect with. I tried the normal routes for finding her address and with disappointment realized that it was not meant to be. Not more than a week later I received an e mail from her, stating that she was wanting to reconnect with me. Another "out of the blue" situation. (?)
These are just small events that all of us enjoy in our life. There are others that are much more dramatic and life changing: people who "just decide" not to board a plane and it crashes. Or deciding at the last minute to go to a party just to be polite, and meeting what will end up being their future spouse. Changing seats in a vehicle and being the one spared in a deadly crash.
What is occurring here? Luck? Chance? Coincidence? In one of my favorite old books it is noted where the similar idea of "serendipity" came from, tracing it to a Persian folk tale. In the town of Serendip lived three brothers for whom everything turned out wonderfully, as if by magic. Of course it really isn't magic at all. And I believe that someday we will all come to a greater understanding of how the Universe, energy, and the power of our Minds operate.
What we focus on grows. For example, when you wake up in the morning and things start out being not so great--stop! Be very careful of your thoughts or what you mutter under your breath. If you think "Oh great! Looks like it is going to be a lousy day" you are greatly increasing the odds that this will become true. OUR SUBCONSCIOUS MIND OBEYS US WITHOUT QUESTION. You see, the subconscious comprises by far the largest and most powerful part of our mind but it isn't very "smart" and it is without any logic. It is rather like our obedient servant. Thoughts that are more emotional in nature create even more powerful a response!
So perhaps the magic of those brothers in Serendip was in the realization that what we think about and focus on even unconsciously is what grows. This is one of the great Laws of the Universe. May we all use it well!
Until next time,
Dr. DyAnn
I had three "coincidences" occur within the last month. The first one occurred when I sent a note to a former client; we had always had a wonderful connection, and in fact I wrote about her in one of my first blogs. I was thinking of her and just wanted to let her know how proud I am of her and that she is one of my heroes. The letter was returned stamped "no longer at this address. Unable to forward." A few days later I got an e-mail from her daughter (who wasn't exactly sure of my e-mail address but tried anyway); she informed me that her mom was very saddened by a terrible loss and that she was trying to figure out how to locate me!
The second coincidence occurred when I was sending out Christmas cards this holiday season. I came across the address of an old friend that I had not communicated with for several years, so I sent her a card. Here is what she wrote back to me: I have been revisiting my spiritual path, thinking of you, and two days later I received your card. It was a dejavu moment; we have been researching various beliefs, and it seems to be a planned reconnection by you and me...."
The third occurrence involved yet another person I had been wanting to reconnect with. I tried the normal routes for finding her address and with disappointment realized that it was not meant to be. Not more than a week later I received an e mail from her, stating that she was wanting to reconnect with me. Another "out of the blue" situation. (?)
These are just small events that all of us enjoy in our life. There are others that are much more dramatic and life changing: people who "just decide" not to board a plane and it crashes. Or deciding at the last minute to go to a party just to be polite, and meeting what will end up being their future spouse. Changing seats in a vehicle and being the one spared in a deadly crash.
What is occurring here? Luck? Chance? Coincidence? In one of my favorite old books it is noted where the similar idea of "serendipity" came from, tracing it to a Persian folk tale. In the town of Serendip lived three brothers for whom everything turned out wonderfully, as if by magic. Of course it really isn't magic at all. And I believe that someday we will all come to a greater understanding of how the Universe, energy, and the power of our Minds operate.
What we focus on grows. For example, when you wake up in the morning and things start out being not so great--stop! Be very careful of your thoughts or what you mutter under your breath. If you think "Oh great! Looks like it is going to be a lousy day" you are greatly increasing the odds that this will become true. OUR SUBCONSCIOUS MIND OBEYS US WITHOUT QUESTION. You see, the subconscious comprises by far the largest and most powerful part of our mind but it isn't very "smart" and it is without any logic. It is rather like our obedient servant. Thoughts that are more emotional in nature create even more powerful a response!
So perhaps the magic of those brothers in Serendip was in the realization that what we think about and focus on even unconsciously is what grows. This is one of the great Laws of the Universe. May we all use it well!
Until next time,
Dr. DyAnn
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Doug's Secret
Doug came to me as a client some time ago. As soon as I saw him in my waiting room I knew that something was desperately wrong. He looked forlorn and rather pitiful. His deep blue eyes were dull and the dark shadows beneath them communicated many nights robbed of restful sleep. He gave me the impression that he was a quiet, uncomplicated man; I wondered what could have robbed him of his peacefulness. I was soon to find out.
As we settled down and shared a cup of tea, his story unfolded. He had been married for nearly thirty years and his children were enjoying success in life. The light briefly came back into his eyes as he spoke of his family. Doug had recently made a change in direction in his career and expressed happiness with his new calling. I was intrigued as to what it was that made his shoulders sag and his demeanor so dejected that his pain radiated right into my own heart. I sat quietly as his story unfolded.
He shifted in his chair and drew in a deep breath, feeling a bit more comfortable. I knew he was preparing to verbalize what was causing him, this dear man, so much pain. I drew in a deep breath as I silently prayed for wisdom.
Doug had discovered that his wife had been having an affair (which had ended) with a former neighbor and close friend. He had proof positive. As a therapist this was not a new problem for me to deal with. The rate of infidelity is quite high. I have seen the full gamut of human reaction to this discovery: shock and disbelief, rage, sadness, bitterness, disgust, blame, hopelessness and the desire to get even.
He asked me what he should do; I asked him what his overall goal was so that I could get a general idea of where he was at with all of this. His answer stunned me! I had never heard anything remotely like it before. His goal was to handle this in a way that would be spiritually healing for himself and his wife, as well as for the former neighbor.
I felt humbled to be in his presence. Never had I heard anyone respond to this or any other serious emotional challenge in such a manner. You see, he understood that everything we do eventually comes back to us so that we can learn from it. (karma) We must choose our responses carefully because we will find ourselves on the receiving end of what we dish out. Whether we generate hatred, lack of forgiveness, impatience, or joy, positive expectation, love - it comes back to us. When we successfully learn this we have learned one of the great Laws of the Universe. This knowledge was truly Doug's secret.
Blessings and love to you and those you love,
Dr. DyAnn
As we settled down and shared a cup of tea, his story unfolded. He had been married for nearly thirty years and his children were enjoying success in life. The light briefly came back into his eyes as he spoke of his family. Doug had recently made a change in direction in his career and expressed happiness with his new calling. I was intrigued as to what it was that made his shoulders sag and his demeanor so dejected that his pain radiated right into my own heart. I sat quietly as his story unfolded.
He shifted in his chair and drew in a deep breath, feeling a bit more comfortable. I knew he was preparing to verbalize what was causing him, this dear man, so much pain. I drew in a deep breath as I silently prayed for wisdom.
Doug had discovered that his wife had been having an affair (which had ended) with a former neighbor and close friend. He had proof positive. As a therapist this was not a new problem for me to deal with. The rate of infidelity is quite high. I have seen the full gamut of human reaction to this discovery: shock and disbelief, rage, sadness, bitterness, disgust, blame, hopelessness and the desire to get even.
He asked me what he should do; I asked him what his overall goal was so that I could get a general idea of where he was at with all of this. His answer stunned me! I had never heard anything remotely like it before. His goal was to handle this in a way that would be spiritually healing for himself and his wife, as well as for the former neighbor.
I felt humbled to be in his presence. Never had I heard anyone respond to this or any other serious emotional challenge in such a manner. You see, he understood that everything we do eventually comes back to us so that we can learn from it. (karma) We must choose our responses carefully because we will find ourselves on the receiving end of what we dish out. Whether we generate hatred, lack of forgiveness, impatience, or joy, positive expectation, love - it comes back to us. When we successfully learn this we have learned one of the great Laws of the Universe. This knowledge was truly Doug's secret.
Blessings and love to you and those you love,
Dr. DyAnn
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