Transformation Information

Have you ever paid attention to how you express yourself? For example, when you want someone to know that y0u understand what they just said, which of the following ways might you say it? I see what you mean . I hear what you are saying. I'm with you. Each of these are examples of a preferred way of expressing our self that reveals how we take in and process information.

Most of us (70%) are visual or a combination that includes visual. Our conversations are riddled with references to "seeing" : I see what you mean. I don't see how you could think that. Why couldn't they see my side of things. It is easy for visual processors to picture things in their minds and to imagine things visually. Other people are auditory processors and some get the feel of things or are experiential.

You might want to "listen in" on conversations over the next couple of days to discover how you and other people express themselves. If you find an "information exchange barrier" going on in your conversation with someone, you might want to consider this information and utilize it to increase understanding. If your partner is not understanding you, try to discover if she or he is processing in a different way than your style. For example, giving an explanation to someone just by speaking words may fail (auditory); rather, try expressing by painting a visual picture. Use descriptions that a person might be able to imagine or see. This method might work better in conveying your idea because you would be utilizing visual aspects. Or you might find a way to show the person, thus using the experiential aspect. Play around with it and you might make some enriching discoveries.

There are other interesting facts about how we process information. We learn to process information in the first few months of our life. I was reading some research on this in regard to people who have been traumatized. Interesting, but not surprising, is the fact that children who have been traumatized do not learn to put things together in the same way as those who grow up to be well-adjusted adults.

It is my firm belief that many people have had traumatic experiences in life, but do not remember them. I am not talking so much about those who have suffered obvious abuse or neglect - as a defense mechanism they dissociate or repress their memories. What I am speaking of is what I have called "hidden trauma". An example might be a four year old in a wonderful family. She comes home from school and mommy and daddy ignore her as she shares the pretty picture she made. It was her first attempt at using paints, let's say.

In this example, what may occur is that the child puts two and two together with faulty addition. Being just a young child, she simply does not have the maturity to realize that mommy and daddy were preoccupied - deep in a conversation about bills. The child adds things up and comes to the erroneous conclusion that her ventures are just not important, and in fact she is not important. In understanding the brain this is called "imprinting."

Now I am not meaning that we have to walk on eggshells or that children are so fragile that a tiny episode could cause irreparable damage. Constant ignoring could very likely cause those conclusions of course. My point is that as we each were growing up, there were many incidents that were seemingly "normal" and non-damaging. However, depending on our age and stage of development, along with some other factors, we could well be carrying around some "hidden trauma" that caused imprinting on the brain . Remember - what you believe to be true, is true. And those beliefs start when our soul comes into existence..

Meg is a great example. She has everything going for her. She is happily married to a great guy. She is moving up in a career that she loves. But when I first saw her as a client I could see a hollowness in her eyes. She could not identify a "presenting problem" ; she described her life as one that many people would envy.

When we did the intake interview she had at first described her family of origin as warm and loving. However, when we looked further, we uncovered a pattern in which there were many memories of incidents when she felt anything but supported. Her brother teased her a lot and when he was supposed to be looking after her she felt she was very much on her own.

The subconscious mind holds all memories, recorded as if it happened yesterday. It also houses feelings. And remember as I have written before, the subconscious has no ability to reason or use logic. I call that a potentially hazardous mix. Memory + emotion minus logic! And as we grow up these memories and their partnering with strong feelings, become our imprints, whether we recall them or not. They are part of the blueprint we use to build and operate our lives!

The bottom line is this - short of finding a good hypnotherapist to go back and "rewire" those hidden memories, there is something you can and should do for yourself:
Spend quiet time and examine what you believe to be true about yourself, your childhood and the world in which you now live. Make up your mind which of those beliefs you want to keep and which do not suit you. This information is extremely powerful. It is at the heart of the message in Romans 12: You shall be transformed by the renewal of your mind.
You have been given one of the keys to happiness- whether you use it is all about free will. The choice is up to you.

Namaste
Dr. DyAnn