Getting the Love You Need

I have a question for you. How do you know get the love you need?
It seems like I get a lot of mail and have many sessions in which "love" is a major issue...whether is it a couple who seem to have fallen out of love, a person who is looking back at issues of their family of origin, or in a dating relationship.

In the end, what each of us needs is to be loved. We need to know that we are "lovable" and that "knowing" tends to come from outside one self. When we are more aware, we realize it comes from the inside and we know how to tap into it. But that does not lessen the impact of outside influences. In fact much of who we are , or think of who we are, comes from the cues that we get from others. Ladies, a prime example is wearing a new outfit. If someone tells you that you look great, doesn't that feel good? Suddenly that outfit is even sweeter.

I will tell you a little secret and it is one you are welcome to use. When I wake up in the morning and things don't go my way - leading me to a possible downward spiral and what looks like the beginning of a bad day, I pull a special outfit from the closet. One that I always get compliments on. The reason I do this is obvious. I will get the outside affirmation and it will go by "emotional osmosis" to the inside. It will make me feel better. My bad day vanishes. Hey, it's an easy little psychological trick, but if it will pick me up, why not use it?

And on the other side of the coin, remember that you never know when someone may be faking it thru their day. Just wanting to be home with a hot cup of tea and a TV show to make them laugh. YOU can be the person to give them something special that will carry them more successfully thru their day. What an awesome privilege. What power!

I promise you from the perspective of the recipient that it feels really great to have someone notice some thing cool or good about me and let me know. You have all had that experience. And I also promise you that when you are the person who is giving the positive energy that it also feels really good and is guaranteed to uplift you. Friends. co-workers, store clerks, everyone can use what you can so freely give. It changes the energy of the person in a positive way.

We have all had the experience of feeling "up", having a good day, only to have an "E-yore" moment threaten to dampen our spirits(not sure how it is spelled but he's the character from Winnie the Pooh who is always down and negative). So, having experienced that negative bummer experience, you know how your mood (energy) can be and is impacted. It's exactly the same principle: your energy can be brought down, it can be brought up.

You see, everything is energy. That includes our emotions. And thus our emotions can be and are impacted by the energy around us. It is no different from the ability of the wind to chill us.
Using that metaphor, avoid the chilly wind, and bring sunshine to yourself by being around people who cheer you on and champion you.
And if you are in a situation where that "sunshine" is difficult to locate, nothing to worry about. YOU can be the one who creates the positive impact - with yourself at the center!

What a delight life is when we realize these things.

Warmly yours,
Until next time,
Dr. DyAnn